Got called a skinny bitch.
 

"Jokingly", by female coworkers.

Disclaimers first: I'm not skinny (those stats you see are at 5'5", barely). And yeah, I sort of enjoyed the joke anyway.

But it put me in a really weird emotional place; the coworkers in question are all heavier than me (by, I'd say, 30-70 lbs). Here's the catch: having lost 50, I'm always pretty comfortable with them because in my head that's about the size I am. I would never think of them as particularly fat. (Well, the very youngest one is rushing head on to a very bad place.)

So this made me feel a combo of happy (me? Skinny?) and guilty (I do not want my weight loss to make anyone else feel bad. Ever). And a sense of having been ejected from a club. Seriously, my first thought was to bring them in a photo of myself at 220--why? I don't know. To prove something, but I'm not sure what. I am, or was, one of you. Still am, in my head. I know what it's like. Etc etc. Obviously another moment of reflection told me that it would just make them more conscious of my loss and (I assume) their own inability to lose (because they all try everything but lowcarb).

They're all intelligent and I've tried to reach out to each of them about lowcarb (only when asked!) but they all reject it for one reason or another. This is another source of internal tension for me because I like to solve problems for people; and all I can do in this situation is smile through all their high-carb meals. Keep my mouth shut.

Overall it's making my work life more complex than it used to be (I used to make glib posts about how people should just tell their coworkers to STFU; but this is a different situation, I guess. They're not critcizing my diet, just occasionally offering me carbs, and now this skinny-bitch thing.)

Anyway, this is definitely causing some sort of change in self-perception, and my perception of how other people perceive me, and how you really can't avoid affecting those around you even if (like me) you try to keep to yourself as much as humanly possible.

(I'm not hurt or offended, or feel the need to get on my high horse about them being 'jealous'. But it's definitely made me rethink some things.)

gwynne, they still like you as the person you are - but, they are probably a little jealous. You are accomplishing something that some of them are not able to do -- you are beating your carb addiction. Also, I found that I made some people at work nervous as I lost because they took better looks at themselves - some of them even wondered if I was secretly judging them for not joining my plan (although I never said anything about their need to lose weight.) You are no longer a member of the "fat club" at work - they are intimidated. Offering you food and treats that are not lc is probably a test to see if you will cave - some of them may be hoping you will, and rejoin their "click". After a while at work (and there was ALWAYS goodies and treats around) co-workers started telling each other "don't pass it to Janet, she is not going to eat any. Eventually some of them got inspired to get on a program and lose too. Maybe you'll be an inspiration for your group.
Anyway, chin up -- you are doing great !! Others can sincerely encourage you, or they can go eat a bunch of carbs!!

This is funny because a close friend of mine and me, call our other friend a skinny B because she just lost a ton of weight and looks great. But I don't think it hurts her, I might have to look into it deeper. Maybe it does but I don't think so. We are always teasing each other about all kinds of things. Work can be a bit different. I work with a French Girl, she's beautiful, tall and very slender. She approached me one day about the way I eat. I was a bit put off...but I guess the French are a little more upfront about things. And I like her a lot so I did not take offense. The next day she brought in a photo of herself because she had become fat a fews earlier. The photo didn't help matters because her idea of "fat" was chubby at best. LOL!

Its a tough call. Some peopel will cheer for you and others will be a bit jealous or maybe both. Just keep doing what you're doing. :)

Thanks for the replies, folks. I don't think there was malice or anything, and it was more wistful than truly jealous (again, I ain't skinny). If I try to identify the one negative feeling that moved me to post, it was feelings of guilt (for some reason?) when I realized other people had even consciously noticed my more recent weight loss efforts. Like...I am inconveniencing them with it. Heh. Oh boy, that just sounds like a whole can of neurosis being opened. :)

Lead by example. Not sure where the guilt is coming from but I do relate! I'm sure your co-workers are inspired, maybe a bit jealous but for the most part just taking note. Awesome stats by the way! Congrats on your hard work. :)

I understand where you are coming from. I'm still way fat but everyone at work knows that I don't eat junk or sugar and that I exercise daily. They go on their candy runs and chocolate gorges but at least they respect what I am doing. So many folks at work had weight loss surgery that I'm seen as a curiosity...why don't you get surgery or join the hospital weight loss plan? I like my guts the way they are. Anyway, the point is that I'm also not in the club.

I also try to make things better for everyone. I think many fat folks do, but not all. I added a quote from the movie The Book of Eli to my sig and use it when I want to step in and help.

Well, "joking" is how many people express emotions they don't want to own.

You've changed. You wanted to change! And now you have.

And that alone is enough for many people to get nervous; are you the same person, or a new one? They knew, or thought they knew what you thought before; what are you thinking now?

Their problem with change is how they don't change; except in ways which distress them. But there are many people who will not take any responsibility for their life; it frightens them to do that, although the consequences of not doing it is tragic for them in the long term.

So yes, it's tough dealing with change, and it's even tougher dealing with people who don't deal with change at all. But it is what you wanted.

Good for you.

I think sometimes folks don't know how to deal with offering treats - it feels rude to offer a treat to other people and exclude you so they offer it trying to be inclusive. I bet if you reassured them a couple times - "thanks for offering but I am avoiding all sugar and starches. I won't take it personal at all if you don't offer me treats - you'll be helping me stay strong!" that they'll stop offering.

As for skinny bitch its just a popular term, I bet watching you melt and being significantly heavier than you, you probably really are seen as 'skinny' from that perspective even if you aren't as skinny as you want to be yet.