A plague on talk of Atkins
 

I found this article in our local paper :-)))

http://www2.ocregister.com/ocrweb/o...&month=4&day=13

Tuesday, April, 13, 2004

A plague on talk of Atkins
Mayrav Saar's column.

By MAYRAV SAAR
The Orange County Register Today is the last day of Pass over, which means I am gaunt. I am aching from fiber deprivation. I am surly. So, in my pain, I thought I'd dispense with the pleasantries and get right to it:

Shut up about the Atkins diet, already.

It's great. I know. You've dropped 17 sizes and 200 pounds by eating buckets of lard. I'm proud of you. You honestly look great. You look better than I've ever seen you. But I just don't want to HEAR about it anymore.

Everyone talks about the things that are new with them, new haircuts, new cell phones. There is, however, a statute of limitations on newness. Eventually your friends no longer have to listen to the ring tones you've downloaded. We don't have to keep assuring you that you're cute as a blonde. Nor, after several months, do your pals have to listen to you blather on about how you've shunned carbs.

My friend Keith has yet to learn this lesson. For an unnaturally long time, Keith has been recounting the trials and successes of the Atkins diet. We used to have conversations. But it seems as though every other word out of his mouth is "meat."

"Hi Keith, how are you today?"

"Meaty meat, Mayrav. And you meat?"

What's particularly unnerving about Keith's proselytizing is that his no-longer-new diet wasn't new to begin with. Jews have basically been on Atkins one week a year for a few millennia. No beer. No muffins. No nothing. Remove the matzoh from Passover, and – blammo – you've got Atkins.

If I thought it would do any good, I'd play the Passover card to hush the carb talk. I could explain that a few of the 10 plagues that befell the pharaoh in Egypt even make perfect Atkins snacks: blood, frogs, lice, wild beasts, pestilence, darkness and the slaying of the first born. Nary a carbohydrate in any of 'em.

But I'm in too foul a mood to school anyone. There is a reason bread is made with yeast, and yumminess is only a part of it. Passover food turns the contents of one's bowels into a rock-hard pit of ugliness that Montezuma himself could not dislodge.

Apparently, this is something else I have in common with Atkins' Chosen People. In addition to the two pieces of sausage, the hunk of cheese, the Atkins breakfast bar and the multivitamin that have become Keith's staple breakfasts, my slim friend now also must ingest a bit of Metamucil to, um, loosen up.

At least I have an excuse for my self-inflicted constipation. Jews escaped slavery. God came to us with signs and wonders, granting freedom and hope. It's only natural to mark this miracle the way my people know best: turning our colons into dens of horror.

But Keith, what reason does he have for this? Sure, he's lost 25 pounds, and he's got abs for the first time. But he also gets leg spasms that only magnesium pills can control. Why, to paraphrase the Passover prayer book, is this diet different from all other diets? Can't you lose weight without going through Passover every day? And why do the rest of us have to hear all about it?

I think the answer lies in ancient texts. Every Passover we sit around the table and for like three hours retell the story of the Jews' exodus from Egypt - whether anyone pays attention or not.

So it is with Atkins followers. Had you told us just once that you've added three blueberries to your usual breakfast of beef, pork and sausage omelets, dayenu, that would have been enough. But you're going to tell us over and over again. Just as we'll tell each other about the Red Sea parting as if it's news.

Since Atkins dieters are constantly leaven-free, maybe they feel they have special dispensation to tell their tales with fevered repetition. Knowing this won't make conversations with Atkins followers any more interesting, but it might make their incessant retelling a little easier to digest.

Too bad God didn't come bearing urns of psyllium husks too.

I purchased whole wheat matzo for my pal Stacey for Pesach. She loved the flavor, and had no constipation this time - a problem she's complained about at every previous Pesach.

Hehe, funny.

You know sometimes I think the atkins people who eat nothing but meat and talk about it all the time make us look bad. I have a couple of breakfasts I cycle through.

1) Custard pumpkin bake topped with whipped cream, maple syrup (sugar free), about a quarter cup berries, and walnuts.

2) hood lc yogurt with fruit (berries: straw blue and rasp), walnuts, whipped cream, half a cup controlled carb milk with tablespoon whipped cream. If I am still hungry I will also have a blueberry bran muffin with some no-sugar jam.

3) whole cup carb milk & whipped cream, a slice of arnold multigrain bread toast w/ pb&j. Sometimes I will have it on like .33 of a medium sized apple instead.

Sometimes I will make a variation of these by adding more fruit (oranges, apples, berries), or mixing it up (i.e. swap milk for a muffin).

The only thing that comes close to "meat and cheese" stereotype atkins breakkie is a breakfast quiche or omelet I have made of eggs, cream, cheeses, spinach, broccoli, garlic, onions, and breakfast meats (bacon, sausage). I top this with a tablespoon of ketchup and sour cream, its mm mmm good.

These 4 breakfasts I eat most often and they rarely if ever exceed 10 carbs per (my limit is 40 net).

I imagine a lot of low carbers out there exist that think eating a stick of celery and a hunk of cheese and a cold chicken leg is a balanced breakfast meal, but come on. Just as you are sick of hearing about atkins, WE who do atkins properly are sick of hearing about the stereotypical lcers from YOU!

Hey, what's the problem with celery, cheese and chicken for breakfast? Seems ok to me. And no artificial ingredients or sweeteners! :lol: maybe I'm one of those dreaded "stereotypical" strict Atkids myself.

Oh well theres nothing wrong with it once in a while, I grab meat and cheese sometimes too. But, I mean if you eat that most days there is no way what you are doing is sustainable or healthy in the long term. A balanced diet isn't one where you have to depend on supplements to avoid deficiencies.

Not to knock anyone who uses induction for a long time (I did induction for a long time myself, because I was so overweight and so insulin resistant - pcos symptoms were out of control). I just think if you are going to do a radical LC diet, at least tell people you don't intend to eat like that permanently, and that eventually you will eat a reasonable variety of nutritious food.

Nu, we must ask ourselves of the Atkins diet, "Is it good for the Jews?"

Just a question for any Jewish members...I'm not that familiar with the Jewish rules for passover. What other than the rules on Leavened Breads is there ??? I've searched the internet and all I can find is no Grains, No Leavens, and Special Silverwear. Do they prohibit fruits and veggies, or is just that most folks can't for the life of themselves figure out how to get Fiber without Grains ??? I get plenty of Fiber on Atkins from Spinach, Green Beans, Broccoli, Strawberries, etc...Unless the rules prohibit these foods, I don't see why lack of Fiber should be a problem for folks like the woman who wrote this, unless they aren't eating Fruits and Vegetables and instead relying on Grains for their Fiber.

An early answer from a semi-virtuous goyem (me) -

The rules for pre-Pesach prepared food are extensive and complex. A summary of low-desputed practices as summarized by an Atheist (me) as folllows:

Traditional Pesach fare includes 4 cups of wine (ultra-sweet, primarily [or not]), fish/fish products, meat (on a bone), an egg, a lot of matzoh (usu. high-carb flour-based), various low/high-carb veggies/spreads, a bit of greenery, etc.

For Feminists, there are interesting pronouncements related to "an orange on the Seder Plate".

A well-constructed low-carb Pesach meal can minimize carbs but is less than modernly traditional (but not less holy).

I would urge any interested person, regardless of faith, next year, to purchase a place at your local synagogue's seder site. The price will be a bit, but the insight into historical faith will be beyond valuing.

As an disclaimer: I am NOT Jewish, nor have I ever been Jewish. I am an Xian by heritage; an Atheist by personal faith; a loving friend of the Jews, and a relentless foe of anyone who attacks the Jewish people.

Frank (gotbeer [at] flash [dot] net)

First off I have to say that cold chicken leg with a bit of ketchup and leftover soggy salad is my favorite breakfast in the world, and if I had cold chicken legs every morning I would be a happy girl :-)

The rules of pesach can get very technical and one of the reasons you might have a difficult time finding a set of general rules is because there are many regional differences.

Its beeen a LONG time since I was in Jewish school and I am nonpracticing (Atheist by choice actually), so forgot most of this stuff, but mose sepharadic Jews, for example can eat rice but not beans or peas while Ashkenazic Jews (eastern european) believe you cannot eat rice (but they might eat beans, not certain on that one). There are plenty of other little rules like that which can get really annoying depending on where you are from and different customs and traditions.

You can certainly eat most fruits and veggies (no corn but I think potatoes are allowed). Leafy greens are fine, broccoli, asparagus and most veggies are fine (string beans depend on who you talk to). I think no puffy foods sums it up. No grains. I think the only time you are required to eat Matzah is on the first 2 nights (and maybe the last night)

As a kid I remember eating matzah with chocolate spread, matzah with eggs and maple syrup, matzah meal mixed with milk and nestle quick and sugar mixed into it to make a hot cereal. and matzah with strawberry jelly.

Wow its actually kinda scary how much sugary junk I ate during passover as a kid.

Of Course Jewish Cuisine is Atkins Friendly
 

Can you say schmaltz?
Mmmmmmmm.......schmaltz. :p

Gluten free and lower carb oat matzah is available for those who need/want it.
6 oz of dry red wine (4 cups of 1.5 oz each) is all that is actually needed for the ritual meal (seder).
It is very possible to stay LC over Passover.
Dana Carpenter had a whole article on passover, and in a pinch you can always look into the "kosher low carb" mailing list and website.

danny