Bad Choices
 

I am not going to say I cheated, because that would mean I am dieting. I really don't feel like I have been on a diet the last 11 weeks. It really has been a WOE.
I have been following modified induction for 9 weeks and have done very well and not made any bad choices until today…
Today I consciously ate a piece of turtle cheesecake, some cadbury eggs and fries with ketchup.
I wasn't craving it, it did not taste exceptionally good...I feel I could easily have
made some low carb choices substituting that crap.

I just felt like so what…

I have really felt in the dumps the last few weeks as I have not been getting any support from my dh. I get more support from friends and people at work and it is starting to tick me off.
I can’t even talk to him about it because I feel if I have to ask for his support or a compliment....I don’t want it as it would not be sincere.
I tried talking about it once with him and I ended up mad for days !(recorded in my journal)

I am a little worried that I am not feeling guilty about what I ate today, I hope this means that I will climb back up and get right back on track again..

What I do appreciate is that I can come here, be honest and say what I feel and receive sincere support and good advice.

Wish me luck on getting back on track and thanks for listening!

Hi there!

Since you recognize that what you chose to eat wasn't all that satisfying and it wasn't in response to any particular craving, perhaps your energies might be better spent examining why you chose to eat it in the first place?
Is it possible that you are trying to "get back" at your DH for not supporting you by going off plan, in effect saying, "Fine! Don't support me. I'll just stay the weight I am, then."? The reason I wonder that is your statement that you've been feeling down for a few weeks because your DH isn't supporting you like you'd like and then you found yourself making the choices you did.

hello my fellow winnipeger.

I know how you feel. Maybe its our stupid weather that makes our husbands go non supportive.

What I do when I feel that way, I just keep reminding myself that when I lose the weight my husband will realize that WOE is wonderful and that I look great.

Keep you chin up, sounds like your just having a bad week. Tomorrow is another day. Now that the weather is getting better go for a walk to cool down.

Also don't worry about your cheat day. We all have one just get back on track the next day.

Take care, and your husband will come around sooner or later and be their for you honestly.

I guess you could just chalk it up to a lesson learned and resolve not to punish yourself with food for something that's not under your control. If your husband isn't supportive, capitalize on the support you get at work and here. He'll either come around or he won't. You can't control his actions, just your reaction to them.

We're here for you. Hang in there!

I have really been through this phase too. I HIGHLY recommend going out and spending some serious dough on yourself. When I got to a point of really needing some serious motivation I bought this thing called Lipo in a box. It is like the body shaper to end all body shapers. Whatever weight you lost it makes it look like double. Now when I was 100 pounds overweight looking like a 24 instead of a 26 didn't seem to make a difference. But the difference between a 14 and an 18 is pretty grand. I put that on and then went to trying on clothes at the department store. Just seeing what you can fit into is a high. You don't even have to buy it. I did however go to Value Village which is a consignment store around here and every nice thing there that I could fit into I bought. Then I got my hair done and my nails done. My husband had no choice but to compliment me then. (Part of the compliment dept could be jealousy or fear on dh's part at seeing you succeed) He just may be a little afraid of the new you!!!!! But treat yourself. Dress yourself up. When you look in the mirror and see yourself looking thinner you will be remotivated and it won't matter if anyone says a darn thing to you. That is all the support you need staring back at you.

I think that instead of worrying about his feelings about this, you need to focus on YOU and your health and wellbeing. This isn't about him, it is about how you are feeling about yourself - and it sounds like you are hoping and waiting for the encouragement from him that you aren't going to get - it oculd be he is afraid to say the wrong thing, or maybe he just doesn't know what to say.

Once you get to your goals, and once he sees how committed to this you are, he will come around - in the meantime, this is time for you to be selfish and take extra care of yourself - figure out what makes you feel good, and do it - for me, it was perfume. I have been a bit down this week, and as a single mom, money is typically tight, but I splurged a bit this afternoon adn bought a bottle of perfume I have wanted for a very long time as a reward for keeping to this way of life.

you will get through this little "blip", and be right back on track :)

Thanks everyone,
I don’t really know what he is thinking. Actually I think he is simply not thinking.
He himself could stand to lose 30 lbs. But I don’t harp on him.
He has never ever said a bad thing about me being overweight either. Maybe he does like me better overweight?
I still cook for him his potatoes and rice. He makes cookies and buys sweets for him and our son but he never stops to think that it might be hard for me to have this stuff around or better yet he does not think to buy me something that I could have.

To be honest I guess this is just part of his nature. Some men are more thoughtful and have the insight to think of the little things. I suppose I am just at a stage in my life where I wish and need him to be more sensitive.

I should talk to him but am really not ready to do so. A few weeks ago I tried talking to him about being more supportive of this WOL and my needs and he laughed and said I was getting all girly………..you can imagine my fury!!

I do appreciate what you are all saying and your advice.

This week I am getting back in the game. I am determined to hit the treadmill eeach morning. Lose another 40 lbs and force dh to deal with it!!!!!!!!

Reply to Bad Choices
 

I am so sorry that you are having some low times in your life. Here is my two cents worth...

You can't hope to be happy by the approval of others, even if it is your husband. You have to find happiness within yourself before others will be accepting of you. My husband is a truly kind and decent man. He is gentle and I know he loves me. BUT, if I waited for him to tell me how great I look, or support my goals in weight loss or whatever I felt was important in my life at that moment.... I would be waiting until all the little devils went ice skating and heck froze over. If I expected my hubby to stop by the store on his way home from work and pick up some LC treat to surprise me, well... I would have a long, long wait. You can't change others to make you happy. It just ain't gonna happen. I have waited every year for my husband to surprise me on Valentine's Day with even a single rose, dinner out... something to show he really cares like EVERYONE else's husband does for them. HAH! Ain't gonna happen. But, this year he came home with a giant mylar balloon shaped like a dog and it said, "I love you". He was so proud of himself he could hardly contain himself. Was I thrilled? Not deep down since it wasn't roses or a necklace or something deserving of me. Did I tell him that? NO WAY! Because, deep down I know that to him he had shown me that I am special to him and that he loves me and I should have been thrilled to tears with his expression of love for me. I still have that darned dog sitting up in the bedroom and he beams with pride whenever he sees me look at it.

Men are so different than women. There are so truly romantic men in this world and some truly sensative men in this world. They are the exceptions, not the rule.

How many times have you started a plan to lose weight? How many times have you failed? Maybe your husband is afraid if he acts too enthusiastic or excited about your new way of life and it doesn't work out that if he says something you will be hurt. I am not saying that you will fail. I am saying that when you have had weight issues most of your life, those around us get used to hearing our next plan for weight loss. Most of us have failed miserablely at weight loss and then it is on to the next plan. He may be afraid to get excited about your new way of life with LC. What if it doesn't work out? What should he say? Give him some time and yourself some time too. After all, who did you punish by going ahead and eating forbidden fruit? Your husband wasn't punished by your actions, but you were. You feel guilty and he doesn't. Don't set yourself up for failure by thinking, "okay, I'll show him". You only hurt yourself in the long run and ruin your health in the bargain. If you want to show him, and yourself too, get back on that horse and ride! I am betting that you have the courage, strength and what it takes to meet all of your goals.

We are all on your side and hoping and praying for your success! We are also here for you when you need a friend to lean on.

Warmest Regards,
Denice

It could be guilt and fear on his part, and he may not even realize it. My sweet husband is outwardly supportive but the minute I begin to look more attractive, he starts with the "Just take one bite - it won't hurt you." Oh but it will hurt me, psychologically and physically. After 23 years, I know he loves me deeply and knows I love him deeply, but men are, after all, pretty insecure. Also, he could stand to lose a few pounds, and he feels guilty when I do and he doesn't. I understand that because it was the other way around earlier this year.

That is tough, but you are going to get right back to it i just know it! Lookie at all the weight you have lost!! It's amazing!!! *HUGS*

Thank you. You all gave me some interesting things to think about and probably unearthed a couple of truths!

I should not need nor rely on anyones approval but my own as I am doing this for me and not my husband or anyone else!

Everyone now and then it does hurt and gets under my skin that he can be so insensitive but obviously I just need to remind myself to come here and talk to you - the greatest support group!

Good news I was not up this am from yesterday's bad eats!!

This am I actually kept my promise. I went on the treadmill! It was only for 3/4 mile for 15 minutes but considering I have not exercised for years...I'd say this is pretty darn good!
I will just have to do it everyday and gradually increase my time! Hopefully this will increase my weight loss and them dh can EAT IS HEART OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you!

You need to make yourself happy and proud. Every day is another step forward for YOU.