Active Low-Carber Forums - Relationship with food

I have always LOVED food ... and hated it.

I thought I would share what brought me to Atkins in hopes it will help those considering quitting. Maybe my experiences will help you with yours.

My mother is probably 300# and my sis is finally slim after years of struggling. I saw my mom fight her weight her whole life so you can understand this made an impression on me. She had gone to a weight doctor while I was in high school and lost a CONSIDERABLE amount doing low-fat. That is when I discovered low-fat back in the 80's.

I put on weight in late high school and by sophomore year in college I was 30 lbs overweight and not happy with how I looked ... especially since I was rooming with a girl that was like size 4 and bitching about being fat. Great! If SHE is fat then what I am? The girls would go out for low-fat yogurt and I would want a Chili Cheese Burrito with sour cream and extra cheese from Taco Bell.

My senior year I moved into my own apartment and filled the house with low-fat foods. I ate less than 10% fat a day. I was losing. I lost 30 lbs. I was ALWAYS hungry and would feel horribly guilty if I ingested anything fattening or went over calories. It eventually deteriorated into a full-blown eating disorder. Bulemia. Because I would feel so guilty when I had eaten a hamburger and fries or anything else really fattening I had to get rid of it and the guilt. I wasn't getting a lot of sleep on top of this due to the fact I was working overnight on-air shifts at a radio station, record store during the day, and going to night school for my last semester. I was always tired and hungry.

I became consumed with the disorder for a good two years. I used to tell my ex that "Food was the enemy". Even tho I weighed 127 (hadn't weighed that since I was 14) and worked out religiously, I was NOT healthy.

When I was 23, I hit bottom. I decided to get a divorce, quit my job and switched careers (lots more sleep). I was on the road to recovery and back to low-fat. That's when the "sugar-lows" as I call them appeared. If I ate a baked potato for lunch with soup I would feel like I was gonna pass out by 3 PM that afternoon. I had no idea what it was ... I thought it was caffeine at the time. So I cut back on the Diet Cokes and coffee I was drinking.

I met and married a wonderful guy a year later and still battled the eating disorder until I got pregnant at 27. This was a license to eat guilt free ... whatever, whenever. I gained about 65-70 lbs during pregancy, eventually tipping the scales at 206-210. This was a very strange experience for me ... but wonderful to eat all those things I had so long denied myself. Salad with dressings, olives, etc. Steak, hamburger WITH cheese!

But ... after birth weighing about 190, back to low-fat. This time it became several days of fasting at a time. Not good but I "had" to. This from the person who previously stated "Food is the enemy". Back to the disorder ... again. Back to being hungry and guilt. I lost 50 lbs.

I am a programmer by trade so that 50 never stayed off. I stopped working out. In 2001 I gained back about 20 of that and in 2002 my friend loaned me the Atkins book. After reading all the info on blood sugar and insulin levels I realized that was the cause of those "sugar lows" I will still suffer at times. I tried Atkins but after about a month and only having lost 7 lbs. I got off.

On to the Zone. Same friend gave me Dr. Sears book. Still thinking fat is the enemy ... this felt more of a fit. Lost about 5 lbs. Went off it since I was tired of counting so much and went on my own version, low-fat with protein at every meal to keep those "sugar-lows" at bay. Still always hungry because I would skip meals if I had enough will power.

This summer I decided I was tired of ALWAYS being hungry, and ALWAYS feeling down about myself. I would give Atkins another shot.

It has changed my life.

Guilt ... gone.
Hunger ... gone.
Bulemia ... gone.
Lethargy ... gone.

I have never loved a WOE so much in my life. I have never allowed myself to actually feel good about what I ate after the meal is over. To me it is just unprecedented to have people say "you aren't eating enough [to lose weight]."

WHAT??? Come again!

I am down to the weight I was pre-pregnancy without torturing my body and my soul any longer. I have made a commitment to myself that I will NOT let my 4 year old daughter see the struggles in me that I saw in my own mother that so colored my relationship with food. And I will not give up on myself like my mother has done these past few years and put my health in danger.

I am feeling more alive and happy than I have in 10 years.

Happy Eating! :yay: