New book: "Passing for Thin" by Frances Kuffel
 

Has anyone read this yet? I read about it in a magazine several months ago, but it hadn't been published yet, so I had to wait. I finally got it last week and spent the weekend reading about it.

This is one woman's journey through weight loss. She once weighed 338 pounds and lost around 175 pounds. It was darned inspiring. She joined a group of women in a church basement, and it's all about sponsorship.

The book details her emotions and what was going through her head the entire time. All those negative thoughts you thought only you had? We all have them.

She has some good insight into the whole topic. For example, she writes that although food addiction is not your fault, it is your responsibility to do something about it.

I've been whining lately about being so tired of weighing my food and counting not only carbs and fat, but now calories, too. Other people go through life without counting and weighing, and they're normal weight. Why not me?

Because I'm addicted to food. I can wake up in the morning thinking about the cheesecake in the fridge.

She finally came to the conclusion that she needs to watch what she eats every single day for the rest of her life. No, it's not fair, but it is reality. If she doesn't, she'll gain back the fat. Me, too.

No, the book isn't earth-shattering, but it is good to know that others out there are having the same thoughts you are. You're not alone and you're not crazy. And you don't need to be 338 pounds to have these thoughts. I'm still hesitant to try on anything in front of someone for fear that it will be too small and I'll look fat and stupid.

Anyone else read the book?

I thought it was really great. very inspirational. I think she was going to Overeaters Anonymous, wasn't she?

I saw her on a talk show and she wasn't a very dynamic guest. But I think she was scared to death! I would love to read the book.

Orchid

I'd like to read it. :thup: Paris posted this interview with the author over in the Media forum.

BW, there are so many of us that think that way. You're right that you don't have to be 330 lbs to feel it. I think it's a symptom of our society.

(Warning: you got me thinking. Rant to follow.)

I believe food addiction of varying severity is way more common than anyone wants to admit. There are those who refuse to believe that food is addictive. Well, anything can be addictive when you're searching for a way to hide from your problems, but carbage has been pretty solidly verified to alter brain chemistry. It increases serontonin. It makes you feel better. Anything that alters brain chemistry, especially to make you feel better, can be abused.

Now, it's relatively easy to avoid heroin and cocaine. The potential dangers of alcohol and cigarettes are taught to youngsters. But we (in general) raise our kids on junk food. Now throw in the fact that the pushers - I mean, the food industry - is so highly competitive with one another. Notice how they're constantly reinventing their products, increasing portion sizes and altering their packaging. I believe there's a "big food" that's about as honest as "big tobacco". We are absolutely *barraged* with carbage. It's everywhere. Ask a European who comes to North America for the first time; they're amazed that we have crap not just in stores, but movie theaters, vending machines, even movie rental shops. They're amazed at the sickeningly huge portions.

At the same time, Big Food cries, "it's not our fault people are fat." Yes, I know, we are the ones responsible for our bodies, but what are we supposed to do? Buy their products and not eat them? :rolleyes: Put your money where your mouth is, Big Food: if we ate your products "responsibly," you'd have a minimum 50% cut in your revenue. Does that sound good to you?

The icing on the cake? The great double standard. Western society endorses this massive food consumption, while at the same time, it's a "moral crime" to be fat. That's why so many of us need support such as this forum. :confused:

If restaurants served normal portions of relatively healthy food, if junk food wasn't thrown at us from every direction, if junk food was considered a rare treat and not a part of every meal, this WOE would be a breeze and more of the 10,000 people who actually registered here would be successful. We are swimming upstream against quite a current.

I do not believe in the myth of the magic thin person who eats whatever they want. Maybe they have a high metabolism, but that doesn't mean they're healthy or won't pay for it down the road. It doesn't mean they don't calorie count or starve themselves when you're not looking. The thin people I know eat like thin people. I believe there's no such thing as escaping the consequence of freely over-consuming North American crapola food.

...and that is why it feels so unfair. 'cause it is.

Ha. Did I have too much coffee this morning or what?

Hi - it's on my reading list and I will get to it but appreciate your sharing. Your note made me laugh just a little since for some reason last night I dreamt I was eating jelly beans - forgetting that I was not eating sugar. Now, I enjoy jelly beans maybe once a year - they aren't my favorite anything so I have no idea why I dreamt about them but I do think about food more than I would like. I can be eating dinner and wondering - planning what we will do for dinner the next night. Some of this is genuine planning, which is good, some of it is just my obsession with food.

I dream that someday I will not have to think about food - that I will be able to make the right choices without thinking about them - but I suspect I will come to the same conclusion as the writed - I will never have a normal relationship to food and if I don't somehow begin to understand and internalize that, all of my work will end up the way it has in the past - with no long term success. So, that is one of my long term goals.

Thanks for sharing,
PecanPie

My opinion is that unless someone is forcing food down my throat with a gun at my head, it IS my RESPONSBILITY. Nobody but me is responsible for the choices of food I eat. Whining about temptation etc is a cop - out, it is reality that food is all around us, and we have to be strong enough to take control of our actions. It isn't easy, it is darn hard, but the point is we are all adults and therefore htere is nobody to blame but ourselves if we choose the wrong path.

I credit this book with getting me off the bingeing, to a 12-step program and ultimately to this forum and to low-carbing. Simply, it changed my life. Frances' story is my story. I've read the book at least 5 times now and I cry at all the same parts and laugh all the way through it.

Simply amazing. I highly, highly recommend it.

Kristine - I just have to say that I find you to be completely brilliant. I love your way, you're a complete wordsmith. Oh, and I do agree with you 100%. :D

:idea: Paris

Hee hee - thanks Paris. ;) I enjoy your writings, too. I like your blog.

Theresamay, I completely agree with you. What I was getting at but didn't get across very well is that there's a lack of acknowledgement of the emotional harm of food issues. Everyone is aware of drug addiction, and society at least partially deals with it by making alcohol and other drugs either illegal or controlled. At least people have an awareness that those substances could become a problem in your life. But many people who are food addicts are made to feel that they're just weak, victims of genetics, etc; and I believe this is what leads so many people to think, "I just need to figure out which diet will solve my problems. This diet will fix me. I'll just use some willpower, and I'll get thin and healthy." Many people are simply unaware of how easy it is to have a bad relationship with food and what a struggle it will be to fix and maintain that relationship.

I just think that if our society respected sugar and junk food for what it is - the way we respect alcohol and drugs for what they are - instead of embracing it as normal, it would harder for people to develop a problem to begin with. How are you supposed to treat food responsibly when you're raised not knowing what that is?

This is a good thread.

Kristine, maybe limit yourself to one cup of coffee next time? Seriously, I agree with everything you said. On the other hand, I also agree with what Teresa said about taking responsibility.

I think Americans are becoming accustomed to larger and larger portions, and have come to think they are actually entitled to them. Why would all-you-can-eat buffets be so popular if people didn't demand tons of food? Have you ever heard someone rave about a restaurant and say, " . . . and their portions are so reasonable" ? Not likely. Most people go to a restaurant and feel somehow gyped (yes, that's the way you spell it, I even looked it up!) if their plates are not overflowing with food.

I like Kristine's idea of a "Big Food" lobby, like the "Big Tobacco" lobby. But you know what? If more of us ate the way we were meant to -- fresh foods, not processed junk -- they would not be in business long. Sure, it's great that you can now buy LC this and LC that at your corner market, but do we really want to substitute high-carb junk with low-carb junk?

What the book really showed me is that we're all in this together. Whether you're 338 pounds or 138 pounds, we all have the same demons when it comes to food.

It has been my theory that the reason supersizing is so popular is that so many people are so HUNGRY. If you have one of those nice, "healthy" breakfasts of cereal, milk, juice, and toast, it's no wonder you feel ravenous by lunchtime.
My husband and I have noticed that a bacon and egg breakfasts lasts us much longer than our old, carb laden breakfasts.
Anyone else remember feeling hungry, looking at the clock, and realizing with dismay that it has only been a couple of hours since last eating? That used to be me. Now, I look up, it's been several hours, and I haven't thought about food!

Kind of off on a tangeant (yeah, that's pretty typical for me), but does anyone else notice that eating out has lost some of its charm? Honestly, it's so much easier to eat healthy on this WOE at home without having to question what hidden things are added to the food, not overeating, and avoiding excess carbs. There are still so few restaurants that don't offer bread, rice or a potato with every entree. Sure, a person can ask for a substitution of extra veggies, but that still doesn't solve the problem of the portion sizes. I think most of us would be able to eat half and be done with it, but for newbies, especially, this can be a bit more difficult.

I know that I feel guilty when my ILs want to take us out to eat and the places they enjoy aren't all that LC-friendly and we suggest someplace else (we eat at Ruby Tuesdays a lot when we do go out). I know they are thinking to themselves "geeze, lighten-up a little and allow yourself a cheat once-in-awhile." But what folks who have never read DANDR don't understand is that a cheat on a ketogenic diet is not at all the same as a cheat on a low-fat/high-carb diet.

Hmmm....I think I will see if I can at least get my MIL to read DANDR this Summer. Her Dr. has recommended that she lower her carbs (she is stick thin and very active, but still insists on eating high-carb/low-fat), since she has high cholesterol and triglycerides.

</tangeant>

:)

Kirsten

This is a great thread!! Do you realize how many positive statements are here for those like me who are big and getting frustrated with losing weight?

I loved this comment by Kristine "I do not believe in the myth of the magic thin person who eats whatever they want." I one of those who really believed that myth!
BW had another one "I think Americans are becoming accustomed to larger and larger portions, and have come to think they are actually entitled to them." Entitled is the perfect word.

Its all these mind traps that hold us back. Seeing those mind traps makes us more optomistic and less stressful about our weight lose. Thank you all for sharing this!!

I also agree with just about everything on this.
 

I think, though, that food addicts are really carb addicts - how many people do you know out there who are addicted to steak? As opposed to sugary stuff? Or are addicted to other life essentials like air and water?
I know that my own behaviour was obviously compulsive but I couldn't figure out why. It was typical of an addict's (I used to be a psychologist so I knew what this meant) but I couldn't accept the idea of food addiction. Now, carb addiction - learning about that possibility was like turning on the light.
And on the topic of junk food, our local dj has just got back from a visit to america and was talking on the radio about how sweet he found all the food there. Drinks like syrup, even bread tasting sweet.
The pushers are making damn sure you can't avoid their product.
Zan

I'd say not all carb addicts are food addicts, but all food addicts are carb addicts. I attend 3 OA meetings per week and have met more than my fair share of people who can binge on anything you put in front of them if they are in binge-mode. Low-carbing is the best reprieve from bingeing I've discovered, but it is not a cure.

Such profound words of wisdom! I have friends who are thin, always have been thin and honestly do not get what I deal with - but when I watch them - what I notice is that they CAN eat anything BUT they rarely over-indulge. They never think about eating too much. They don't feel deprived if they eat only half of something because that is all that they want. They never think of super sizing because they wouldn't be able to finish it all. They listen to their I'm full triggers as much as their I'm hungry triggers. I would like to re-wire my brain that way - but I have too much expereince to know I am going to have be in control forever. I just hope that I can exercise the control with less effort over time.

PecanPie