How do you handle SABOTAGE???
 

My hubby is always trying to sabotage me, and has in the past, anyone have any good tips? Thanks

It depends on precisely how he's attempting it. Franklly I'd sit down and have a heart to heart with him about his behavior reassuring him that even at a lower, AND more attractive to other males, weight I'd still be his. Further wouldn't he be happy to have such a beautiful me on his arm :)

Then since it's proably a little deep seated when he did something I'd remind him of our talk and this behavior. If he kept up his sabotaging ways I'd begin fighting back.
Jo

I agree with Jo..I wonder if he is concerned that if U lose weight U will look for someone else. The silly thing is..doesnt matter what weight a person is..if they want, they can ALWAYS find someone...I would reassure him, and ask him why he is trying to get U to eat things U shouldnt and then explain to him how important this wol is to U.

Along those lines...
 

Being a die-hard Oprah fan... :)

Oprah said, on one of her shows recently, that people are fine with your success until you surpass their expectations of you in comparison to them. Then they become critical---which could lead to sabotage.

While and since I've lost my weight, my husband has been mostly good but at times becomes, uh, unsupportive. I get through the moment but later talk with him on how we could both be better. Just like everything else in marriage, it takes a lot of compromise and collaboration to get it right.

Now, my MOTHER is a different story! :) She showed up on Christmas with HUGE BAGS of cookies, fudge, and heavenly bon bons ---something she's never done in the past--- knowing full well that I don't (ahem, well, SHOULD NOT) do sugar. I fell off that wagon hard. Wish I could be stronger and she could be more considerate. I know she hates how thin I've gotten, particularly when she's at an all-time high weight. I know I need to talk with her before her next visit...

Good luck with your situation. Be strong!

Regards,
K.

great question! I think a lot of people have saboteur problems, and talking out the underlying reason for it with the saboteur is a great idea. Other thoughts:

If he's simply in the habit of showing love/thinking about you with a food gift, ask him to switch to inexpensive flowers or magazine instead. That way, he still gets to be thoughtful and kind.

Give him another alternative to be caring. Say, "instead of buying me food, I'd like it ever so much more if you read this book," and hand him your LC book.

Accept the gift, say, "Thanks--I don't want it right this second," then later, when he's doing something else, run it down the garbage disposal. Worst case scenario is him catching you at it? Then at least he knows how serious you are about not eating junk.
If those don't work, I'd switch tactics...maybe don't say anything--no refusal, no thank you, no explanation. Perhaps he's trying to (for some unconscious reason) get a rise out of you, and if you don't give it to him, he may abandon that tactic.

HTH, and best of luck to you!

It can be frustrating
 

My co-workers took me to lunch for my birthday, so I chose a place where I could get a big salad and grilled chicken.

My co-workers consist of one other woman and three men.

After lunch the woman had the waiter come over so I could get a complimentary piece of pie. I ask the others what type of pie would they like as I couldn't eat any starches.

The woman started arguing loudly that it was birthday, the pie was sugar free and I should order. Thankfully the guys at the table tried to tell her I didn't want the carbs and I was saying I didn't need the carbs. She continued, getting louder and louder until I sat there just staring at one of the guys who ordered the piece of pie and took it home to his wife.

It's difficult when there is someone who constantly tries to sabotage you, but it's my life and my health and thankfully my choice.

In addition to what has been offered thus far, there's an additional angle I'd like to point out.

No one can really sabotage you, except yourself. We do sabotage ourselves by taking the bait, when the opportunity arise, and sometime even create the opportunity.

Why would one try to sabotage their efforts? Because we get something out of it, without knowing it. If you're working hard on losing weight, endulgance in no-no's may give you a break from the effort involved in sticking to it. After the fact, "he/she tempted me" also offers an excuse to why I didn't stick to it and stand my ground, thus releiving me from facing the fact that I didn't stick to it.

The above can go on in cycle, until it's broken by recognizing the real reason why we allow ourselves to sabotage our efforts, and dealing with the underlying issues to break this cycle.

Wa'il

Spoken like a Dr. Phil fan!

I agree with you. The bottom line lies within you, not with anyone else.

Deanna

Actually, it's from Wayne Dyer, another great author from the 70's :)

Wa'il