important discussion
 

at least I think it will be. . .what are you going to do when it is gone?

Now we all have our reasons for starting this WOL and we all have things we have thought of doing when we reach goal. . .but reading a post in the Atkins part where the person thought they looked frail at 135lbs. . .made me think of this. . .there is a loss beyond the weight that will be going on with me and I suspect with others. . .when we lose the weight.

Even if the weight piled on because of the sugar see-saw we all were on. . .it became a part of us. . .some of us made it work for us. . .for some of us it worked against us. Some us had it both ways.

I made it work for me. Not only was I formidable in personality and wit but also in size. . .and I was not one for hiding out in dark clothes. . .although I was at many times the largest in the room. . .I was not ignored. On the flip side. . .it is/was easy enough to blame things that did not happen in my life on my tonage.

So here I am around half way through my journey to be one of the many rather than one of the few. . .(not something I strive for BTW). . .will I be happy disappearing in a crowd? hummm. redawn;)

I have never even considered this aspect of weightloss, I've only been content with trying to get the weight off.

This is definitely something to think about! :eek:

hmmm.. well I feel like once I break 200 I will be somewhat on the other side but in general I think it'll take 150 before I AM on the other side..it's such a large unknown for me that I cannot even begin to imagine honestly what will be different. I like to imagine that most things will remain the same except I wont be hiding in my clothes... honestly I am more like you described where I never really hid and I was always heard. I had a lot fo friends and did a lot of activities...UNTIL that last 30-40 pounds....I can honestly say the past 2 years I have been a shut in and deeply depressed... it had more to do with having 2 small kids than my weight but I had been feeling VERY uncomfortable in public....

I just want to sit and not have fat squishing all of my organs up....and it sure would be nice to be able to buy clothes at any store I want too...

It will be a vast change. I remember a conversation I had with my mother a year or so ago. She's always been thin, and was complaining (in her 70s now) about having a potruding tummy. She says the person she sees in the mirror isn't her. I told her that was how I would feel if (that was before lc) I lost a lot of weight. I've been heavy for so many years I might not recognize myself without all the extra.

Now I like to think though that all that's just wrapping. I'm who I am--wife, mother, teacher, Christian. I look forward to seeing the goal product--and plan to spend enough years there to eventually get used to that new image.

I will...

I will live my life as I should have been living it for 40 years.

I will go on rides at the fair.

I will buy clothes from the normal sized stores, at the normal size racks.

I will go to the pool or hot tub without feeling like I'm offending someone.

I will play golf again.

I will run and play with my little girl.

I will make better love to my wife.

I will not give up what I worked so hard to get.

I will help others who are in the situation I'm now trying to escape.

I will not be a different person, but I will have a different defining characteristic than the one I have now.

I will spend a lot of time trying to understand what that new, defining characteristic will be.

I will be the person on the outside I think I am on the inside.

I will garden.

I will take the focus I've put on being fit, and focus it on being a better person in some different way.

I will be me.

I will live much longer, much better.

I saw a very interesting post on the psychology of weigh. It talked about how many overweight folks hid from things in life inside their coat of fat. I'd never thought of it that way, but for many the shedding of the coat forces them to deal with situations in life they had been hiding from and was in effect a reason for self sabotage on the WOE.
Others thought shedding the coat would transform their whole life and were disappointed that it didn't. They were the same person without the coat of fat and had the same life struggles and issues to deal with they had had as a heavy person.

I think there is some danger of expecting too much from life without fat. Thin people can have horrible lives; fat people can have great lives. But it's better to be healthy, no matter the quality of the rest of your life.

To me, it will be about the simple pleasures that I'm currently denied because of my size and weight. I don't expect some paradise to emerge when 100 pounds of weight are gone. But I do expect improvements in the way I feel and look and in the things I can do.

Re-Invention
 

Kyrasdad
I wasn't directing that at you. I started to post my reply right after the topic went up. LOL I type slow and I was searching for the topic I mentioned on another site but alas they have deleted it as it was too old they said. Sorry it was a beautiful piece with many folks adding to it about their fat coats and what they were dealing with trying to shed it.

What am I going to do when it is gone? I am going to be able to re-enter the world again. I have been a non-participant in life (or at least I feel like one).

For example, I miss dating so much -- and I haven't had it because at my weight, I have no confidence in my appearance and men do not approach me. I feel like the world see overweight people as asexual. I have been wrestling with the thought that maybe there was a part of me that was trying to avoid the emotional commitment and potential pain of loving by letting myself gain so much weight.

I tried the dating site eharmony a few months back -- because they claim that their system of matching goes "...much deeper than just a picture and a paragraph!" But every time we got the the picture reveal stage I got rejected. (I'm no beauty queen but I do not consider myself shockingly ugly either.) Thank heaven for Dr. Atkins -- it won't be too long until I am "acceptable".

Has my life been on hold because of my weight? Yes. And it is a shame. I've wasted so much time.

This thread reminded me of another from a while back...

For me, it's all about being in better health and being able to do the things I want to do and having my body respond accordingly. Sadly, I think some opportunities are forever gone for me, like just breaking out and running, for instance, but I think there is still opportunity to be active in other areas.

I agree that for some people just losing weight is not enough. There are almost always issues that need to be resolved as well, which many people don't deal with. They lose weight, freak out about the same things again (like intimacy, attention from others, feeling vulnerable in a difficult and scary world) and then re-gain.

I don't know where else I'm going with this...just rambling!

Thanks for indulging me...

Donald

not so much of a what we are looking forward to. . but maybe the 'coat of fat' we hid behind or the excuse we use that we are losing. . .the amount of weight those of us here are talking about is life altering (Thanks be to God!) but along with the good. . .just curious as to what others think. Hey at 274 there was no way in hell I was gonna look like Brittany. . .whether I wanted to or not. Aw heck at 215 I don't either. . .but as I get closer I think I am going to start eyeballing little things like her. . .but then I will just find a regular dinning chair with arms. . .sit in it and be proud! Look mom I fit. redawn;)

Oh I hope I didn't come across as taking any offense, because I didn't. I didn't feel that you were even directing it at me in particular. :)

I think it's well advised for people to understand that life can be difficult, even if they are severely overweight and then lose it.

In my case, I'm wondering if I didn't deal with those issues the past few years, resolving my belief that I wasn't worthy of certain things in life, and that nobody could ever love me. I really never had the self loathing so many people in this condition speak of, but I had an apathy about myself, only finding passion in the small things -- political arguments, career stuff, sports, etc.

I think I may have gone over three decades without any passion for life, for the important things in it. I may have gotten kick started when I survived a murder attempt, and then boosted when I met Chelli, and when we had Kyra, but it was a long time coming. It has been perhaps a misapplication of passion in my life.

I think I've resolved things internally, and at this point, it's become all about fixing the damage.

To tell the truth, I have a whole lot of living to catch up on. Hikes, camping, Disneyworld...new Grandson to take fishing. For a good 10 years I have been dead to the good stuff my life was the 1st 40 years.

Now...people will treat me different. I know that. I have seen it over and over. Maybe a girl or 2 will make a pass if I am real lucky...and she is into men closer to senility than puberty. I know that. For me the hard part is in just being me. The real me. Not the guy who made do while mobidly obese.

I was never a sex symbol so will not be one when at goal; I am too old to be a jock...unless being the Ayahtolla of Fishing counts as being a sports jock; I will be in my mid-50's so will not be cruising for chicks.

I will just try to be plain old me. I was "him" before and I can be him again! It will take some getting used to!