Low Carb & Spousal Support
 

A post in the Atkins site got me thinking, so I wanted to share.

Spousal problems with low carb might be insecurity, jealousy, and envy. But don't jump to conclusions until you think "romance styles."

How often do you or your spouse say "I love you" with food? And how will low carbing change that?

For instance, my husband finds "sweets for his sweetie" an indelible part of how he says "I love you." He was crushed, but game, when I convinced him that I really didn't want a box of chocolates, that just one candy wasn't going to ruin me, that's true, but I really didn't want them.

When Russell Stover came out with low carb candy, he was thrilled. I now have over a dozen bags and boxes in the cupboard, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to see me eat them. He just wants to buy them.

Also, ladies, here's another thing to think about: MEN DON'T KNOW ABOUT VENTING. Men are action-oriented problem solvers. If you kvetch about this or that about the diet, women understand you are just venting. Men think you are unhappy, and want to take you out for a Forget The Diet night on the town. It's not sabotage, it's actually love.

For men getting a hard time from wives, think about this: How often has she said "I love you" with food in the past? Did her specialties once mean the world to you? What will she do now? She might not feel comfortable transferring her expertise to zuchinni pasta or low carb baking, which is a tricky business.

My husband is a darling man who has supported me 100% and even worked to join me in this way of eating. Fortunately, I didn't look at his candy fetish as something he was doing to me, it was something he was doing for me. And we worked it out.

Just wondering if anyone else has a similar tale to tell.

You could always try telling him youhave enough chocolates. What you would really love is a stuffed animal to cuddle when he's not there with you :)

My SO is the most unromantic person in the world, well besides me that is. Our gifts to each other are typically on the practical side of things. Yes that makes more sense, but as a girl I would also appriciate a little romance now and then, even if that means a box of chocolates I can't eat :)

Good thread, Pam. Sometimes I think we are a little quick to say that others are "sabotaging" our efforts when that may not be what they're doing.

My husband was a little freaked out at first by my uncompromising stand. For him, I think the reason was that he wants to do this WOL as well but has a hard time wrapping his mind around the concept of completely giving something up. When I told him that as I got closer to goal I would be more willing to, say, have a fairly high-carb meal once a month or so (after I figured out that that won't be a problem for me, probably), he relaxed and is more open to this WOL.

Oh, please, I already had to put my food down about the stuffed animals, or we'd be up to our hips in them!

Freudian slip? :)

Your husband sounds just like mine, Pam. A few days before Valentine's Day, he excitedly pointed out " I see you are almost out of SF chocolates!" Then when I told him "No, I've got a whole grocery bag of them hidden way back in a closet.", he was crestfallen. And he is in no way trying to sabotage my WOE, he'd buy me the moon if I told him I was on a green cheese diet.

But this year, he FINALLY got it right. Made a lovely flower arrangement out of various flowers he picked out himself, two fancy baking sheets, and a new green dish drain underliner! (I've searched everywhere for one that is the right colour and size, and he finally located one)

I think we're growing up. (BTW, I convinced him years ago that we didn't need stuffed animals.)

Kay

You all have given me a great idea. Today I am going to make an extra-special effort to be sweet to my sweetie and let him know just how much his support means to me.

"My SO is the most unromantic person in the world, well besides me that is. Our gifts to each other are typically on the practical side of things."

Ladybelle: me too, on that. I'm more likely to get tools than flowers or candy. Sometimes he buys me books! He has been very supportive of my weight loss and eating plan. Over the past few months he has started eating LC, too. He has several favorite LC dishes that he requests and he's eating wonderful green salads everyday and finally gave up his Dr Pepper.

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Originally Posted by Adkpam
... put my food down ...
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Freudian slip?

LOL FrecklFluf! Maybe it was Freudian...

My DH gave up beer ( his idea of low carbing ) and he lost 12 lbbs.!!!

This Valentines Day he gave me no candy. We did go out for ribs, though.

The first time I tried low carbing my Dh seemed to go out of his way to sabotage it, he went shopping and bought so many of my favourite hicarb snacks, whenever I looked in the cupboards or the fridge there they would be. When we first started dating he would tell me he was glad I wasn't fat because he didn't like fat (I was never skinny). When we got married and I started putting on the weight he never said anything, if I tried losing the weight he tried sabotaging. I think it's a "If she gets trim, other men will notice and she may leave me" thing. Recently, he bought me some clothes for my birthday and did say if they don't fit to take them back, they were size 16 and to my horror were too tight. We took them back and I decided to get some active wear. He asked why, I asked him wouldn't he like it better if I was thinner. His reply was "As long as you are Happy with the way you are, I'm happy". I turned and looked at him and said "Well I'm not happy". I think those few words actually clicked with him, he has done none of the old sabotaging this time. There were no chocolates in sight on Valentines day.

Cheryl

Its not that we say 'I love you' with food, its just that a lot of our old social activities involved, well, calories. We didn't go for a walk together or something, if we were leaving the house we'd go for coffee, or a beer, or for a meal... things got difficult early on in this diet!

I got my bf some choccies on valentines day and for the first time it wasn't like the gift was going to be 1/2 mine anyway... I didn't eat any!!

I find my guy very supportive. He understands the diet pretty well. What I appreciate most is that he doesn't point it out when I 'cheat' a little. I like that I can nick a couple of potato chips without a dissaproving 'are you allowed that!'. Has anybody else noticed that some people can be nazi's over other people's diets?? I think feeling sabotaged can be bad, but feeling controlled can be worse!

I have been really lucky with my husband. When I first started, he questioned it, but he said if I thought it was really what I wanted to do, then go ahead and do it. Then he saw the weight loss and now he is really an advocate of atkins and tells everybody that asks about the benefits of it and how it has helped me lose weight. He even asks me when I am tempted to eat something that I don't need, if I really want that, not to bug me about it, but to help me remember my future goal and my health. Everyone should be blessed to have a supportive spouse.
Belle

I knew exactly what you mean... I've been diabetic for the last seven years and it's happened so many times. Once a coworker was circulating with a box of doughnuts, came around to my desk and offered me one. As I was reaching into the box she pulled it away, gasped and said very loudly "YOU can't eat that!". Oh really? WATCH ME.

I love this thread... I've seen some talking about negative SO's, and it just makes me want to cry. My hubby has never complained once about my slow and steady weight gain over the years. He worries about my health because of my diabetes. When I mentioned to him that I thought I might try doing Atkins, not really planning for him to do it, his immediate reaction was "I'll do it with you" and that has made it easier. He's not heavy at all, but he's enjoying the other benefits, he's got alot more energy. He's just the most wonderful and supportive husband, he would never do anything to sabotage me. Of course, he was the most wonderful and supportive before I started this wol...

Jenn