Are fat people treated unequally/unfairly? All Opinions welcome.
 

I've just returned from a long and intense diversity conference. At one point, we were asked to present topics to be addressed by people in other groups. I indicated that I feel that I am treated unfairly as an obese woman.

The group that chose to pick up my topic was the "people of color" group. They belittled the very idea that fat people are subject to being treated unfairly. The comments that I got back were along the line of "you've got to be kidding!" One member of the group told me that they had a great time laughing at the suggested topic. The observation that fat people are treated unfairly was dismissed as a non-issue.

I tried discussing this with two members of that group separately. I pointed out that fat jokes are perfectly acceptable on TV while jokes about race are politically incorrect. I told them that I've read about a study that showed that fat women earn 26% less than the average earnings for all women in the same job category. One of the men just shrugged it off and wouldn't discuss it further. The other man insists that he has never heard of fat people being mistreated and that he has never seen it. He acknowledges that gorgeous women are treated better than average, but thinks that all women who are not visually stunning are all lumped together as average and are regarded equally. Later that evening, I caught him telling a fat joke to another colleague. I didn't have the energy to pursue it.

Have I lost my mind? I am 41, obese and I think I have been judged harshly for my appearance and ridiculed for a lifetime. Is it just not-as-bad-as-having-ancestors-who-were-slaves and therefore an invalid complaint? I am baffled.

What worries me most is that one of the women who was reportedly belittling my topic is the diversity coordinator for the entire company (a Fortune 500 company). I'd like to take this up with her one-on-one but first I'd like to hear some other perspectives and arm myself with statistics.

Please tell me your honest opinions. I'm not just looking for backup. I'd like to hear a range of perspectives.

Though it's not necessarily in my face discrimination, I strongly feel I've lost job opportunities because of my weight. You get looks from everyone around you, with looks of contempt on their faces. I've had people heavier than I look at me with a sort of desparation, I've had thin people look at me as if to say "god don't ever let me get THAT fat". Men & dating? Forget it, no one will look past your weight, doesn't matter what kind of personality you have, they all want thin, and they'll take a thin woman who treats them like yesterday's garbage over a fat girl anyday..........

I've had looks at airports, on the plane, even in Starbucks, where no one will sit near you because they might 'catch' what you have, obesity, like you're going to bite them or talk to them or something.

My brother tells fat jokes all the time and is quite demeaning towards anyone who isn't tall & lanky like him.

I thank GOD every day for my present boss, who obviously saw something beyond the weight and hired me, he is so happy with my work and doesn't regret giving me a chance. He is tall and very thin, my weight didn't seem to affect him at all..........

The other bad thing is I cannot walk in my neighboorhood for the comments retarded men seem to want to yell your way as you walk down the street, so I stick to Greenlake or the gym.

I've noticed people looking in my cart at the grocery store, probably wonder what the hell I eat that makes me so fat? Well, it was never any fast food, junk food, never ate any chips, cookies or cakes. My one and only rare indulgence was Starbucks Java Chip Ice Cream. Oh well, go figure..........

LL :)

Definitely fat people are treated differently. They're one of the remaining classes of people its ok to poke fun of on TV. You wouldn't laugh at a black person for being black, but you can laugh at a fat person for being fat.

I remember seeing 60 minutes or some such show a woman dressed up in a fat suit and did some experiments. She was most certainly treated different in the fat suit and out of it.

I remember it as well. The girl started out to do it to help her understand what her overweight friends went through on a daily basis because she didn't believe "it was all as bad as they said it was". By the end of the experiment, she had changed her view completely and was absolutely stunned at how differently she was treated in a variety of situations because of her fatness. The two situations I remember were shopping at the mall and visiting a club.
Perhpaps if you write to 60 minutes, you can get a copy of that story to show your friends who think that fat discrimination doesn't exist.
Those that don't want to admit that it exists are likely a part of the problem themselves. :(

I have been both thin and fat and boy oh boy is there a major difference! When you are fat, you are forgotten. People's eyes run right past you as if you didn't exist. Either that or they look at you as if you are pathetic and disgusting. I've had men say rude things to me and look at me as if I was a piece of dog sh*t because of my weight. Luckily my husband is a man of character and he loves me exactly the way I am. :)

It's definitely true that fat jokes are still acceptable and I think it's horrible. I always feel bad for people who are very obese because I know what that's like and my heart goes out to them for what they are put through on a daily basis. The ridicule, the torment, the embarassing situations such as when you don't fit into a seat on the train or in the movie theater, the looks of disdain that people always give to those who are obese.... it really breaks my heart :( and it makes me angry :mad:

I agree with the above poster. People look right through you when you are overweight. No one makes eye contact. It is an odd feeling. I guess I was in denial, but I never noticed this until I had lost weight. Now people are looking at me and smiling and generally friendlier.

I do believe that it is discrimination.

It's funny that this topic popped up... I was thinking about how differently I was treated back in highschool (i was heck thin and actually had a 4pack going when i was on the swim-team), when i gained a lot of weight (really quickly) because of too much beer and twinkies when i started university, and now (still trying to get the 6 or at least 4pack going)...

Honestly, I prefer the way i'm being treated while i'm at a "decent" weight... especially by women... while i was obese/fat, i was pretty much just "friend material"... now, i get treated different, especially at bars and night clubs and especially the pool (where i get stares and these cute lifeguards approaching me)... i'm still single, i don't know why... hmmm maybe i'm affraid of commitment, but heck i'm still young ;) this is a really shallow reason why i push myself to stay fit for life now :p

i also watched that 60minutes documentary... it was really interesting watching how people (especially men) treated the woman...

i don't really understand why fat/thin people are treated differently when it comes to applying for jobs though... what happened to hiring people for their ability?!

I totally believe fat people are discriminated against!! My best friend had weight loss surgery a year ago. Prior to that, she had difficulty getting jobs - would easily get interviewed but then not receive the job (she's a RN and they are scarce around here too). Since losing 90 lb from the surgery, she's gotten both of the jobs she interviewed for and they treated her so much nicer in the interviews. Since nothing changed except for her weight, she believes this was the deciding factor.

People think it's fine to make fun of fat people, and I find it loathesome. My own husband is nearing 300 lb but still makes comments about others who are overweight. That is just sad.

People were extra nice to me at my "ideal" weight, especially men. When I was at my heaviest, they act like you don't exist.

Yes, I do think there is discrimination, and I feel this way because I have been both thin and fat.

Most of my life I have been slender and active. I am blonde and busty so I know that I have recieved special treatment by people especially male bosses due to my looks.

However, about five years ago I was treated for depression and placed on a mutlitude of anti-depressants that caused me to gain - 60 POUNDS! I went from a size 4 to a size 16, and it happened quite quickly.

I will never forget the reaction of and the treatment by people who knew me, and those who didn't. I had some unbelievably mean and cruel comments and nasty jokes made toward me. At first everyone thought I was pregnant, and the embarrasment for both them and myself when I had to tell them I wasn't - was horrible. My family was perhaps the worst. Overall though, I was accused of horrible crimes due to my weight. This was difficult for me, because I was accustom to receiving certain advantages when I was thin, people were kind, and helpful. As a thin woman, there was always a stranger, usually a man ready to help me carry a heavy bag, as a fat woman, they ignored me. I was also used to having men try to buy me drinks in bars, and when I was a size 16, I found myself sitting alone at a bar stool, while my thin girlfriends chatted up men, and didn't include me in the conversations. And of course, I got the you are so pretty comments - you'd be a knock out if you lost some weight!

When I stopped taking the medications, I quickly returned to a size 4. And all of a sudden, people wanted to be around me again, strangers smiled, I had an easier time hailing a cab. I learned that to be overweight, is a very lonely thing.

I am now about 15-20 pounds overweight again, but I hide it well, because it mostly in my stomach and middle, which can be disguised by the right clothing. I refuse to let my weight get heavier than that because I could never stand to return to the lonely and painful existence I had when I was severely overweight and that is why I am here and doing Atkins.

My heart really goes out to those for whom a weight problem has been a long time problem, because people can be so cruel and judgemental. And I briefly worked in retail when I was laid off, and I witnessed that qualified overweight women were always denied jobs which were given to unqualified thin and pretty girls.

It's because of a stereotype (conscious or otherwise) that believes that fat people are also lazy and not good workers.
Another prejudice that exists among employers is that fat people utilize health care more and will adversely impact the group's experience (in an experience rated insurance market) and cause their health care premiums to go up, plus more sick days, etc...
There isn't much fact behind this belief, but it's a factor when an employer chooses a thin employee over an overweight one even when the overweight candidate is more qualified.

rant, apology in advance
 

Fat people are treated VERY badly. In the press, on the street, at work, everywhere. It's pathetic. Men who used to look at me a few years ago with distain now look at me with lust. Why the difference? It's disgusting. It's very obvious that this world is so weight conscious that being fat is a contagious disease.

When I was at my highest weight, 235, 20 years ago, I was invisible. No guy wanted anything to do with me. They made fun of me. I was teased and tormented. I was a "pity date " at best.

But in the last week I have been asked out by 3 different men. It's not my personality that's changed! My body is different but I am the same person I always was inside. Bubbly, outgoing, articulate, funny, smart... (blowing my horn for a minute here)

People don't understand how insensitive they sound when they make jokes or ugly reference to people's weight.

Although I still have a nasty roll of stomach skin that won't go away and still a few # from goal, my SO says I am beautiful, that he loves me and that he doesn't see an ounce of fat on me. That's how it should be. Unconditional acceptance. True love.

The general public should wrap their heads around the fact that being fat is only partially about what you put in your mouth. I hate how people are so superficial. Sometimes it is about food sensitivities, allergies, hormones, nature or simple bad luck. Sometimes it is about what we eat and how little we exercise.

When I was fat, no one saw ME, they saw fat. I couldn't get a good job, or a good date because people couldn't get past how I looked. Those same people fall all over themselves now to get my attention. Those people make my skin crawl.

Sorry for the rant but I had to sound off on this one! We are all here to improve ourselves and meet our goals and quite frankly, the heck with anyone who is standing in my way. People who treated me badly when I was fat have no place in my life now.

I am coming up for my 20 year high school reunion and am very interested in how differently people I went to school with will treat me 20 years and 100 # later.

Thanks for reading so far, but it is a topic near and dear to all of our hearts.

Julie

I would say that fat people are treated differently and should be, but the extent to which they are mistreated is much greater than it should be.

Racial discrimination is discrimination against something you did not choose and cannot help. However, you can help being fat. If you're fat, its a reflection of you, your habits and your character. If you're fat (and don't have a gland problem), then you've gotten that way, because you were lazy and didn't watch what you ate. I know that's how I got fat. It reflects on you and people saw me as a lazy slob and in many ways...I was.

Now, the level to which they are mistreated is much greater than it should be. I know some people saw me when I was fat and felt I was less motivated than someone that was thin. To some extent, they were right. However, others saw me as a slob, an ugly person and 'below' them. That's not right.

If I was an employer and there were 2 equal candidates for a job, but one was fat and one was thin, I'd choose the thin one. There's just a better chance he'll be more motivated, all other things being equal. Now if the fat person is much more intelligent, has more experience and better references and I still chose the thin one, that's taking it too far.

I think there are two different things here, though they overlap. All things being equal, people at a healthy weight for their body are more likely to be fit, healthy etc. So for the opposite sex to find healthy weight bodies more attractive than very over or underweight bodies, is a matter of 'natural selection' if you like - we unconsciously choose someone who looks like they'd make a good mate (even if we are only out for the night!).
Of course this is affected by the media, so that we look for 'on the thin side of a healthy weight' because of that, but even so, that's what most of us find attractive.
I don't think there's much point arguing about that. Of course our personalities are just the same - but sexual attraction is based on physical attributes first, the rest comes later. And its basically sexual attraction that helps a girl get a cab etc!
The more serious one is when we hire people for jobs, speak to people in the street and so on. Because that should very definitely be about who they are as a person - so discriminating against fat folk there really is a nasty prejudice.
Our whole society is so image conscious though, that this needs challenging, in all of us, all the time. Are we nicer to pretty people than plain ones, tall men rather than short men and so on.

Well, I've found that I have never had problems with men - there are plenty of men out ther who like big girls. But as for jobs, yeah I think I have been discriminated against. I am more than qualified to do any job, but as others have said, if you're fat then you're automatically lazy ir unable to do tasks as quickly as others etc...which of course we all know is cr*p.

Funny this topic came up...I just posted on it in my journal and in response to a woman who was feeling depressed. Just gonna cut and paste my opinion here. Sorry to anyone who already read it elsewhere...
From my journal:
"Read a post by someone who's lost over 100 pounds but finds herself depressed. Made me remember my weight loss from 8 or 9 years ago. Lost over 100 but I actually got angry at men for taking notice of me...for people in general being more congenial. Somewhere inside I resented the heck out of the fact that being skinnier made people treat me better and with greater respect. After all...I was the same person, but suddenly I was worthy of attention and being taken more seriously? VERY irritating! The truth is, that overweight people ARE treated differently...and when you go from the one side of the coin to the other...it can upset you to see that. It's emotionally depressing on a subconscious level, I think...and it affects your happiness with yourself because part of you wants to snap back to being big and kick the world in the seat of the pants. I dont know...but I do remember that...still makes me angry, I guess. I already see a difference now in how my customers relate to me at work...the weight loss makes life better on a social level...dealing with people is easier because they treat you better, but,(somewhere way down deep) something about it all makes you wanna lash out a bit."

So, YEAH...I think fat people are treated differently.


PS: TCastro...I just need to point out that most people who are comfortably thin simply have a genetic disposition to be that way. For some of them...it's a happy circumstance that will change over the course of time as they age. But fully 90 percent of the "skinny" or "average" sized people that I know dont eat any differently than I used to...they're simply a different body type with different metabolisms. Many of them eat far worse than I ever did. Of course it CAN be true that a fat person may eat like a horse and snack on junk food all day long...but many eat relatively normally and still gain weight...as I did. Take the same diet that I eat now and add in a bagel for breakfast and a starch with my meals...I'd gain weight....but I wouldnt exactly be making a pig of myself. So I think the "fat people eat poorly and aren't motivated to eat right and excercise" theory just doesnt stand up.

Just my opinion.