so sad
 

well, i've lost 70 lbs as of today. i really thought i was doing great.....i feel better, look better, and am (i thought) attracting some male attention. i joined a local online dating service to meet some new people b/c i am recently divorced, and the emails i get are 1. all weirdos, or 2. poeple making insensitive comments about my weight ("240? awww geez....go to jenny craig or something...who did you think you were kidding?") so my question to myself is, who do i think i'm kidding? i mean i really thought that i could do this, look great, and all that. but, really...am i always destined to be the ugly fat girl? will i be ignored and treated badly for the remainder of my life? i'm so sad...please help

Hi Moonbeam....WOW you lost 70 lbs. That's great!! I'v only lost 13 lbs so far and it feels like forever. The people who are being mean to you are not even worthy of knowing you. Ignore them and stay with your plan. You will succeed because you know how. Anybody who looses 70 lbs can finish the job. I only hope I can loose that much myself.

Hey girl, Your doing great & you know it! The BOZO's that act like that you wouldnt want anything to do with anyway! not even skinny! Some people are just very shallow they don't have the depth or understanding that we have because of where we've been. worrying isn't going to change your outside but it will change your inside don't let them have that kind of power over you. YOU ARE STRONG or you wouldnt have already lost 70 lbs thats REALLY GREAT and say's a lot about you right there, just keep up the good work and you'll get your chance to brush off jerks like that. Now Chin Up! and March On!! I'll be looking forward to hearing more about how your doing.

your friend
Robyn :wave:

PS
Maybe your looking in the wrong place for gentelmen, seems to me I might have seen a singles thread at this site. Good Hunting

Moonbeam I know how you feel. Try not to be sad. :there: I think you are wrong. I think every guy who wrote you was a weirdo. Especially the ones who made those comments. I mean think about it. What kind of person would go out of their way to make another person feel bad. You know that's one good thing about being over weight. You get to see who people really are on the inside. Just think. If you were thin right now. Those same guys would be dying to meet you and yet they would still be slime balls. It would just take you a longer time to figure that out. There are good men out there that don't place importance on weight. Those men are the ones to find. My husband met me when I weighed what you weigh now and has loved me no matter what my size. He happens to be naturally thin but if he had a weight problem I would love him just the same.

You have lost 70 lbs!! That's totally amazing! Know that you are something special and that you are too good for creeps that hurt people for kicks.

(((((Hugs)))))

Julie Huck
310/273/160

When you meet someone special, you will know. They will love you for who you are inside, regardless of what you look like on the outside. These dating lines and such really seem to be places to hook up for fast non-relationships, the men tend to be looking for sex with no strings attached... sometimes, even can be dangerous. Just a word of advice, take it for what it is worth. ;)

Instead, maybe try to focus on things you enjoy. A hobby, going to the gym, dancing, bowling, church groups, computer groups, even a cooking class or a low carb group in your area.

Wherever you go or whatever you do, try to engage yourself in activities to share with others. I have found that when you start living your life for you, Mr. Right will happen along when you least expect it, and it is such a wonderful surprise!

What better place to meet a companion than while you are doing something you enjoy? This puts them on your terms, as well, and not on their terms like the dating lines and such tend to do. Who wants to dangle there waiting for someone to pick them like a piece of fruit? And you know they will toss you out when they are done, to move on to the next, not caring what state they leave you in.

Instead of standing on the wall waiting for someone to grace you with their presence, on their terms, let someone come to you in your lifestyle. You will definitely be far more happier and relaxed if you start on common grounds with someone. You will be much happier not always feeling like you have to "measure up" to be accepted!

Everyone was right in their replies to you. You have done an awesome job! Keep up the good work, but *always* do it for you, and your health benefits. You know you are feeling better, you are gaining confidence and feeling better about yourself. That is something you should *never* let another person take from you! Take positive steps to eliminate people from your life that demean you or try to humiliate you. There are plenty of others that cen be supoorive and encouraging, just look around you here! :D

It is a hard lesson, but when you have to compromise your feelings to please someone else, it is a sure sign you will *never* be able to please them. You would never be satisfied yourself, or ever feel fulfilled. Is that the type of person or way of life you would really want? Instead, put all that energy into someone who can accept you, inner beauty, faults, successes, and all. They really *are* out there!

Brush it off, and stay focused and strong. You made it this far, the road of success is still waiting ahead for you.

I may be fat, but I can lose weight. Those types of people, however, will always be ignorant. :p

Hi,

I don't see anything wrong with sex with no strings attached. I am sure that many women in general feel the same way. Just not socially acceptable!

I think that Julie made the best comment. Consider your weight as an instant truth detector. I do. Shallow people don't even want to talk to you when you are over weight so why would you want to talk to them when you are thinner (and you will be).

I would like to meet somone while I am on the way down since I know that this person would like me for me. Don't give up you could find a treasure or at least have a real good time.

BTW - Congrats on your weight loss, 70lbs is impressive. Also if you get a chance go to a gym and pick up 70lbs and walk around with it. That always motivates me.

Tom

Forgeddaboutit...
 

The thing about the Internet is that anybody can post anything they want there...

Take this forum, for example. We have thousands of members that are thoughtful, considerate, well mannered and real. But every once in a while, we get some total losers coming through the door. Trust me, we edit and keep some awful stuff from the rest of you. Its just the nature of the beast.

The sad thing is that it truly relfects the world in which we live. There are lots and lots of weird a** losers out there that get off on making other people feel badly about themselves.

Forget it. But by all means learn the lesson that's there to be learned.

I wanted to bring to your attention a thread in this forum that was created for singles. I think you should copy and post your original entry there, too, so that others can offer up their experiences and advice.

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthre...&threadid=85329

And no, you're not destined to always be the fat, ugly girl. You never were. That's always been your own idea of who you are. With those 70 pounds gone, you should be able to see the real you much more easily.

Be good to yourself. It brings goodness back to you from others.

Donald :wave:

Hold fast to dreams,

for if dreams die,

life is a broken bird that cannot fly

You wrote it, remember? Believe in it and yourself. The right guy will come along. You are doing such a wonderful job that you just cannot let stupid people bring you down. Don't undo what you've done. There will always be somebody there to be mean and cruel. The love for yourself has to come from inside so that you will be confident enough to handle the bad. This is hard for many of us, but you did the right thing by coming here for support.

Have a great ON PROGRAM day. That is the gift you give yourself.

:there:

Deb

Langston Hughes

Please do not beat yourself up or belittle what you have done and are doing for yourself...........take their comments and attitudes for what they are.......a man who you want.....will not have those attitudes.........I was online for a long time........several years........there are great men out there........and there are a lot of idiots. Weight is a huge issue to a lot of men...........but one who is worth your heart will not be that way.........be glad that you find out from the beginning.
I met my husband online..........he is an angel with the tenderest most sensitive heart you could imagine..........a wonderful friend and partner.
Above all do not let the comments and hateful, narrow hearts of these people have power to make you feel bad...........you know who you are and what your worth is........don't you let go of that!!!

Hi Moonbean,

Sod the weirdos, they are the real losers. Think how you felt about yourself when you hadn't lost that 70 pounds. You are a real star. Fantasia is spot on when she says that you will know when the right guy comes along. Don't give up on your LC though. As the weight continues tumbling off your confidence will rocket and you'll be fighting them off with a big stick. There are loads of weirdos in our society. I had an unpleasant incident on the bus a couple of weeks ago with a group of schoolkids sniggering and laughing and giving me verbal. That really got me down. But I thought "stuff them" (well not really, but what I did think can't be printed here). I am doing something about my weight problem. I am not going to let some idiots ruin my progress so far. Love yourself first and foremost. I know that everything will work out just fine.

Best Wishes

Kenny

Hi Moonbeam....

Sorry you had a bad experience. I did to at my heaviest in a magazine personal.

I have a real belief system about this kind of thing. I think life is to be lived to the fullest even when you are single. I think the best way to meet people is face to face. I mean if you were dating where would you be going? So why aren't you going to those places now to meet that person or at least live your life now.

Join a book club, go see that movie you wanted to on your own, go to the library, park (well maybe a little cold now), join a gym, have a cup of coffee in a diner or coffee shop.

This is the way to know that when you meet someone they like your appearance and if you don't meet someone you are out there meeting people and enjoying life today.

Just my $.02.

Sometimes I wish I had it to do all over again knowing what I know now...

Oh Moonbeam

what a group of JERKS!!!! I'd be looking at it this way - atleast you know you did't waste anytime on any of them unlike some poor almost anorexic girl that they are likely to write to and want to start a relationship with...

As it was said before this is your way of finding the truth in people and the right man will love you no matter what size you are and he will do the "happy dance" along side you with each loss of a pound.

Wow 70 pounds, thats amazing, be proud of what you achieved, you shall loose weight - they will be morons forever !

:D Fiona :D

The guys are not even worth your second thought, much less your first thought. I have a canned response that I would use if I came up against some rude sob about my weight and that is "I am working on my problem, what are you doing about yours?" Theirs is obviously their rude attitude.

There are good people out there who will be attracted to you at whatever weight you are at. Just let you shine through while you are working on the exterior. It will happen. Then find a person who is capable of loving you at any weight. They do exist.

I can only agree with what everyone has said so far...

I'll add though that there are wonderful guys out there that *do* love based on the person as a whole, not only as a physical package.

After being in a relationship for over 5 years and thinking I was headed for marriage, my dear ex decided to tell me one day that I was too fat and not good looking enough for him to be attracted to anymore. To think, I wasn't even at my heaviest then! Hmph!!

Then there's the people that say "You have such a pretty face..." My crappy self-image and self-esteem always completes the sentence for them (in my head) "...too bad you're such a fatty."

I met my DH 3.5 years ago at my heaviest and in the shock of the century, he was attracted to me emotionally, spiritually and physically! :eek:

With your success, I can only imagine how good you look, nevermind that you were beautiful inside and out before you started this WOL. Don't fret about the insecurities of others, take pride in yourself-- for your successes and your future.

Your Prince Charming is out there... he just may have a flat tire at the moment and no horse to ride in on. It *will* happen, I promise.

Happy LCing!
Nikki :daizy:

:spin:

Hi There! I don't have much to add because the above posts are just wonderful.

I just wanted to say that I am sorry this happened to you. I figure it like this - those rude guys have to live with their bad karma. May it come back to them at least 10X!

Congratulations on your fabulous loss!! You have done an amazing job and will make it to your goal! Cindi