Doing Everything Right and it's not working? Here's why!
 

A friend who's on Weight Watchers emailed me this. I think it works for all worried scale watchers. So here's the secret of life:

Reason for a Weight Gain
Overeating.
Undereating.
Salt.
Lack of salt.
TOM (time of the month)
Not-TOM
You are wearing green.
You are not wearing green.
What you had for dinner last night.
What you didn't have for dinner last night.
Exercise.
Lack of exercise.
It's Saturday, Tuesday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, Thursday.
Pre-menopause.
Post-menopause.
You're having a good hair day.
You're having a bad hair day.
You used more hairspray/gel/mousse than normal.
You have tennis shoes on instead of sandals.
You have sandals on instead of tennis shoes.
You forgot to take your shoes off.
The sun is shining.
It's raining.
You forgot to use your turn signal when turning into the parking lot at your meeting.
You don't even drive a car.
When it's too hot, my body's holding on to the water. After all, it needs to hydrate itself, doesn't it?
When it's cold, because my body is holding on to food to use as heat.
When it's just right, my weight gain is because of ...ummmmm....uhhhhh...
Alien invasion.

Sometimes, it just happens. You have a choice. You can THROW all your hard work away, because of a "bad hair day" or you can keep plugging away.......

Keep plugging away!!!

They left off these:

You got too much sleep.
You didn't sleep enough.
You woke up on the left side of the bed.
You woke up on the right side of the bed.
You just flat out woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

:D

Pretty cute Alto ;) Thanks for the smile.

ha! good one. :D

also could be

new scale
broken scale (from overuse, no doubt)
scale on wrong spot on floor
scale has become sentient and willful (like in some Star Trek episode) from overuse. (solution: beam scale into heart of nearest sun)

:lol: I KNOW all of us have done this....scoot the scale across the floor to make sure it was level!

:lol: Too funny Raz!

DON'T LAUGH FOLKS!
 

Don't laugh all, I do that ALL the time, shift the scales across the floor that is. :D

And when it gets to a spot which is at least 1/2lb lower than the other spots ;) that's the one I take.! :D

Banana :wave:

Banana, that is simply sensible behavior :)

Now, when you start bartering with the scale -- or threatening it, begging it, etc., that may indicate a problem. But tricking it? Hey. It's only a scale :)

Thanks for all the additions AC and Razzle!

EHEHEheheheHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHOHOHOHOHWHWHWHEHEHEHEHEHE! Too funny :)

The sad thing is, I have used some of those excuses before LOL! Bad me! Bad! Bad!

I'll bet a lot of us have, Sizzle. It's good to have the list all in one place -- puts things in perspective :)

Reading it reminded me that we're a bit like ancient cultures who thought the reason it rained was because Tribal Member 0097's goat had wandered into the sacred raspberries by mistake. (What happened to Tribal Member 0097, not to mention the poor goat, does not bear thinking, yet the rains contined.) We all try to make a causal relationship between What Went Wrong and What Caused This!

ROFLOL!! That is sooo true! :D

Not working
 

I love it! How about these:

Drinking too much water
Drinking too little water

Bad day at work
Good day at work

Eating too late
Eating too early

Going out to dinner
Eating at home

Cooking for yourself
Cooking for your family

Oh, I'm sure we could thing of so many more!

:lol:

How about:

Reading too many posts on the low carb board made my brain fat with information and therfore caused a weight gain (I think, therefore, I'm fat?)

The scales are conspiring against me to threaten my sanity.

The kids/co-workers/DH are playing with the scale to threaten my sanity.

I've already lost my sanity (kids will do that to you, you know).

Air really DOES have calories and so does water!

It's a full moon.
It's a new moon.
I've been mooned (and traumatized severely)

I picked a bad body to be reincarnated into; my past life's Karma is catching up with me and this is my punishment.

Bellybutton lint/toe fuzz will hold 100x it's weight in water.

and last but not least:

I failed to make the required sacrifices to the whoosh fairy!


Too funny, y'all...keep 'em coming! I really needed a good laugh today and this was it! :lol:

Thanks for the chuckles folks. Like many of you, I'm guilty of some of these thoughts.

The funny thing is, so many of these things also apply to the reasons why we can't make our peepee turn little plastic sticks to the colours at the end of the rainbow. ;)

The number on the scale and the colour on the stick are really quite arbitrary indicators of what's actually happening to us.

Most of us have freed ourselves from the mental trap around the low fat/low calorie way of life. What we really need to do is free ourselves from the numbers on the floor and the colour of our peepee. Only then will we truly appreciate the marvelous things that are happening to our bodies and the magnificent progress we have all made by choosing this new, healthier way of living.

OMG --- TOO FUNNY!!!!
 

Thanks guys I needed the chuckle. I LOVE IT!!! I truly panic if my kids start playing with the scales. You would think they were playing with fire or something.

I think one time I scared my sweet little angel girl to death, poor thing, because I saw her dragging them across the floor and I Yelled STOOOOOPPPPPP! I felt like the Bionic woman leaping across the room in a single bound, diving to save the scales!!!!

Yep, a little obsessed! :daze:

Amen to that....

This is the best thread!!! I think I'm gong to print it and put it on the frig!!!


Patty

WAIT .... !!!! You forgot the most POPULAR ones!!!!

too many calories
not enough calories
too much fat
not enough fat
too much protein
not enough protein
too many carbs
not enough carbs
too many supplements
not enough supplements
not the right supplements!!!!

Sound familiar??? Jeez.... let's just relax and keep on plugging, shall we? :daze:

You guys are the greatest....thanks for the giggles! :lol: