weightloss and dates
 

hey guys!!

have u noticed u felt more confident on this woe? since i've lost this weight and my mind has caught up with my body(at first i thought i was smaller than i was, then i thought i was bigger than i was and now i know exactly what i am and it feels great even tho i'm not there yet)....

anyway, what are your stories? i got hit on at tgi friday's(now my favorite restraunt!!) and tho we haven't gone out yet it's still nice to remember(we did exchange phone numbers) and this fellow at school has called me more times than he'll admit too.

i have decided it's all about confidence.

what do u guys think?

I don't know as I'm married ;) but I have noticed a few looks. :)

Its 100% confidence.

In the past, if I caught eye contact with a girl I thought was good looking, I'd look away or look down like I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. All I could think was how fat she thought I was.

Not exactly going to attract many women that way.

I agree 100% confidence. When you feel good about yourself you show that and that is inviting to other people.
angie

Oh I have to agree..Confidence!!!

Before if anyone looked at me I thought they were looking at me and judging my fat!!! If anyone smiled at me I took it as a smurk...I always thought people were judging me and making fun of me...Crazy huh...

Now I work at a bar and I strut around and I can actually tell when someone is checking me out...I also was hit on a couple of time before losing weight and didn't realize it till recently when these individuals told me...LOL...I now recognise a "come on" I mean if someone is all touchy feely...hanging with me and making comments...I now know they are interested and not just picking with me and wanting to be friends.

Confident, but its slowly slipping
 

My confidence has improved 100%, but when I hit the plateau it sort of slipped. And that is why I am here and need to hear and read more of the wonderful stories I see here.

I tried to do it alone, but it's harder that way! I now realize I can come here and share my challenges and success regarding my woe just as you all share yours!

I feel 100% more confident. To the point that I actually told my eye doctor yesterday that he smelled so good I couldn't concentrate on the letters across the room. :lol:

I would have never done that still weighing 280 in fear of rejection. But he actually flirted back and told me I had beautiful eyes. :)

DH got a kick out of it. He's not the jealous type thank God.

:)

I think it has to do with confidence as well. I carry myself better and never look away like I used to.

I'm getting looks in stores now and I must admit, I like it.

I also had this guy that I think is the hottest man alive tell me "you look good, you look really good". Made my day. lol

I feel a lot better about myself too. On the other hand I don't like the attention that I get from men now. When I am out with my husband I am ok and on top off the world, but when I am with my kids or alone, I feel sick to my stomach when men talk to me or stair.

Yes, that's one of the reasons I gained the weight to begin with.

Kat

I've found that as a heavy person, no one wants to sit near you wherever you're at. I'm a regular at Starbucks first thing in the morning, and I've noticed that, perhaps people are afraid of 'catching' your obesity. I put up with a LOT of harassment from men from the time I was 12, and it lessened greatly after I gained all the weight. Now that I'm losing, my own attitude has changed, and I'm more apt to look at men, whereas before I'd just look down if they looked at me, figuring "what the H*** are they staring at?" Now I'm not so negative about it, and I know as I lose weight I will have to deal with attention from men, but I'm ready. I'm not at that point yet, but since my own attitude has changed and I'm more self-confident, I'm also noticing that men's attitudes towards me isn't as negative (or as I perceived) it to be.

LL :)

Different story for me. :(
 

:confused: I have a totally opposite story.

I always thought I was good looking. Even at 260 pounds. I always had dates. That was never a problem. But since I hit 160 and a size 8, I don't get hit on! Now believe me, it's not a confidence problem, because i'll be the first to tell you that i"m cute! :D But I don't understand what it is.

I asked my best friend who is male what his opinion was. He gave me this crock of B.S. about men being nervous to approach extemely attactive women. Fear of rejection or fear of actually getting the girl and having every other man in the world checking out your girlfriend.

As a whole I think he is referring to the men's lack of confidence. But please, MEN in the FORUM. Give me your opinion. :help:

I do have a boyfriend now that I love dearly, but I met him on the internet, not in person. And i wonder if the situation had of been different and we met in person, would we be together now at all. HUMMMMM

I would like to hear other people's input.

I think its confidence for me as well. But I'm sorta in the same boat as Vanity3. I was always the one with a boyfriend or guy friends and always getting approached even when I was 325. And I have been in a situation that guys will stare but will not say anything I don't know what thats all about. But now that my weight loss a showing (to everyone else, I really can't tell). Guy's talk more and I do think its the confidence I have within that's showing even more on the outside. But I'm getting married in some months so I don't pay it any attention but it still feels good to see that others find you attrative.

Vanity...depending on the guy, I think your friend is right. Women do it too...not all women, but I know before I was married, there were guys that I thought were 'out of my league' so to speak. I actually ended up dating one or two of them, but it took me a long time to catch on. I had lower self esteem and it wasnt weight. I was thin, but I grew up in a family of overweight people and we didnt have a lot of money. I had glasses on top of that and you know what they said about girls with glasses! I just always thought I was not pretty enough, not cool enough, etc. I didnt realize I was ok until my 20's when guys started hitting on me, some of them hot guys. I would have admired them from afar, but never thought I 'had a chance'. Maybe your beauty and self confidence scare them. Lets face it, some girls are just hot, they know it, and they arent afraid to be b-itches if they dont like what they see. I would be fearful of some girls too if I were a guy. You may have to conciously make yourself more 'approachable'.

Good luck girl...gives new meaning to 'Dont hate me because Im beautiful'. I wish I had such a problem! lol

You know what, you are probably right. I've been told by people after I've know them for awhile, that they thought i was mean when they first noticed me. But after they get to know me, they realize that I'm really down to earth and nice. [not to toot my own horn] I do have a certain heir about myself. I am very confident. But I'm not trying to be a witch. I LOVE people and i will talk your ear off if you let me. I don't want to have to tone down my confidence level. I am approachable. All you have to say is "hi" and we can talk.

Confidence and assertion from women can be difficult for some men to take. I'm pretty outspoken (due to living 18 years in the NYC area, LOL!) and some men find it intimidating.
I married one that liked it!