Gabrielle's Success
 

I didn’t need that red needle coming to rest on the thick black 250 to tell me I had a problem. My thighs chafed when I walked longer than 15 minutes, my knees cracked and my lungs burned from walking up short flights of stairs. I had to purchase men’s jeans in order for them to fit comfortably. I wore 42DDD bras and I would have rather licked botulism than hop on a scale.

Eventually there came a day when I decided that it was time to get my life and myself back. No matter how many years I’d spent as an “overweight” adult, I never felt comfortable with that title. I always thought of myself as active. I would even tell people I didn’t eat much in order to dispel any misconceptions regarding HOW I got as big as I was. I realized that in order for me to lose weight and become healthy, I would have to find out exactly how much damage I had done to myself over the years. With heart pounding and eyes squinting, I stepped on the scale and confirmed what I had already suspected. I wasn’t just overweight. I was morbidly obese.

Since I began my weight loss journey, I’ve given a great deal of thought to what may have caused my obesity. But in truth, it was probably a combination of things. As a child, I believed friends who had pantries stocked with cookies, candies and sugary cereals to be rich. In my teens, when I did begin to care about my weight, I would remedy perceived love handles by not eating. As a young adult, I ate junk foods because I was too lazy to cook. In my mid 20’s, I was ratcheted up the ranks of my company to a management position, complete with expense account. I was expected to wine and dine clients weekly; a chore that I completed without complaint. And finally, in my late 20’s I suffered from what I now believe to be undiagnosed depression.

You’re probably thinking: How could she not know she was depressed? I didn’t know, because I didn’t have any of the symptoms that I associated with depression. I didn’t lie in my bed and hide from the world. I wasn’t particularly sad or angry. I got up every morning, got dressed, went to work and sometimes even managed a legitimate smile. Oh, and I ate.

I ate as much as my boyfriend at the time and neither of us thought anything of it. When that relationship ended we were both bigger people for the experience. As my weight grew, a problem I can trace back to early childhood began to develop like an ill formed twin. My problem was negative thinking. I would often think and say things about myself that would bring tears to my eyes. Words such as “stupid” and “fat cow” come to mind as I type this, but these are probably the least abusive of what I thought of myself. Food became a panacea—a salve for hurts that I inflicted on myself.

Success comes at a price, isn’t that what the old adage says? The price I paid in order to get to a healthy weight was accepting the responsibility that I was solely to blame for my condition. I had mentally and physically abused my body by giving it foods that were not nutritious, and refusing to listen to it when it complained of its poor treatment. I will carry the scars of that abuse in the form of stretch marks over newly formed abs for as long as I live. They (stretch marks) will forever be reminders, should I ever forget how far I’ve come.

At first glance you might think that my success is simply that I’ve lost over 100 pounds and am no longer obese or even overweight according to most doctors charts. But that is only half my story. Immediately after reading Dr Atkins’ New Diet Revolution, I remember knowing with absolute certainty that one day I would be in a size 10 again. That was one of the few positive thoughts I’d had in years and I held on to it as if it were a life preserver throughout my journey.

I currently weigh 144.8 pounds and wear a size 8 woman’s and a 30 in men’s jeans. But even that small victory is not why I consider myself successful. I consider myself successful because I was kind to myself. For 19 months I looked at myself in the mirror and said “good going sweetie.” I congratulated myself when I passed on the movie popcorn (my favorite) and I rubbed the back of my own neck after I worked out particularly hard. I told myself ”soon” when I’d try on a new pair of jeans that still didn’t quit fit , and I told myself that tomorrow was another day when I ate too much. I stopped being afraid of food and I embraced it for its ability, when used properly, to make me feel healthy. I became my own best friend and trusted confidant. I learned to love Gabrielle…and in the midst of all that loving of me… I lost 105 pounds. Go figure.

Wow Gab! Fantastic story! Thanks for sharing, and congrats again on your huge success! :bhug:

Way to go Gabrielle! :thup:


Loved this part :)

Wa'il

You story is very well written, in addition to being motivating. I continue to be impressed by you.

That is awesome Gabrielle! Mad props to you girl. You look fabulous!

WOOHOO!!!!! WTG GAB!!!!

Wow.. it's amazing how many times the journey ends up NOT being about the food, but about our journey to discover ourselves and who we want to be.

I'm sooo glad you found yourself.. and I'm glad to see your story here!!

Congrats again Gab!!!

Mike

Hey Everyone, thanks so much for taking the time to read my success story. I use to dream of one day sitting down and writing it and how wonderful it would feel when I was done. I reached goal in December so I figured I had procrastinated enough.

Gabrielle

Your time spent thinking and dreaming about writting your success story was very well deserved. Extremely well written and truly inspiring.

Congratulations on your success and the rest of your life! ~toni

What a great story - thank you!

Beautiful story! Did you ever slip up and if you did, was it hard getting back on track?

Congratulations Gabrielle...what an inspiration you are to us all :yay:

Congratulations!

And stretch marks, like bad memories, do fade with time. :D

Hey, Gabrielle! I've been out of sight, but you haven't been out of my mind! I love your story - it's from the heart. You are one beautiful lady, and I'm not just talking about physical beauty! Thanks for sharing your story.

Your friend,

Congratulatulations on exceeding your goal.... great story.... wishing you continued success!!

You are such an inspiration!!!! I can feel the pain that you once had in the words that you used. You should be so proud of all the strength that you had to endure!!!

To make a "long story short" I hid from the world for the last 7 yrs.......after many trials and depressing episodes "I just wanted to hide".

I gained alot of weight by taking my son to Chuck e Cheese. I wanted to help him get over some things that had happened to him, and I would sit and eat pizza on almost every day off that I had..... we lived a block from there!!!

Thankyou again for all of your encouragement!!!"

You are awesome...........!!!! take care, Gina

A lovely story, Gabrielle. Very honest and thought provoking, and many things you mentioned struck a cord. Please let us know about anything that helped or hindered you on your journey, any tips or advice?
Karen

Oh wow, thanks for all the responses to my "success" story. I appreciate you all taking the time to read it. Karen I'll swing by your journal in a sec to answer your question but oh yeah I have had missteps. I feel sorry for anyone that hasn't personally I gain a lot of strength in knowing that I have fought my carb cravings and not only survived but thrived. I'll swing by your journal and answer in more detail.

From Stylus' Journal

The things that helped are fairly easy to list. I never gave up. I reread the book every so often and I never strayed far from the support of this forum. Hurdles however, were a learning experience.

The first hurdle I had to leap over was kicking the LC treats habits. I had a hard time getting my head around the fact that after over a year of not counting I had to start counting the sugar alcohols as carbs if I wanted to loose the last 20 pounds.

Another hindrance was my fear of the gym. I stopped going because I felt awkward using the equipment with other people around. I eventually did have to incorporate more exercise (along with walking) by using exercise videos. I did return to the gym at the beginning of this year and I love it.

When I realized that calories do count for me I went to the extreme. I lowered my calories to 1200 calories for an extended time to loose the last 20 pounds. The problem with doing this is that eventually my metabolism learned to function very well off the lower calories. If I ate something remotely off plan or salty my weight would shoot up by 3 pounds or more. This had a paralyzing effect on me because I was extremely fearful of moving through the phases as Dr. A instructs.

My solution was to remove the final hindrance from the equation. The scale. I put my scale in the garage and I only weigh in once a week now. Before, I weighed in daily. The body can and will go up in weight when you start moving up the carb later. If you do it slowly and as Dr A instructs the water should disappear as it did with me. Seeing my body’s every fluctuation made me not WANT to do anything that would make me gain weight. I’m sure the fluctuations are still there. I just don’t see them now.

Congratulations.. You look incredible. I've also found this.. Your a celebrity.. :)

http://people.aol.com/people/web/yourdiet/

so much to relate to, and so much to be happy about! congratulations gabrielle - i already knew you'd reached goal but great to read your story...

You look awesome! Great job.

That is one of the best stories I have read!!! Congratulations to you. You look AWESOME! :)

Thanks everyone for the great compliments and comments on my story. I think writing it was also part of the proccess. It's amazing how life affirming this whole process is.

Wonderful Gabrielle, you look great and I know you feel just as great.

When we look back on all the years we wasted being out of shape and unhappy, it makes us wonder why we didn't smarten up sooner, but I guess some of us need to be at that do or die point before it clicks in, maybe after we finally hit the wall it helps us stay focused better on our healthier way of eating.

I try to find the reasons why I let myself get and stay so obese for the best years of my life and I really can't explain it to myself, I'm just glad that like you I finally realized that I was the only one who would be able to fix the problem and found a system that works and a place to come share my ups and downs with.

Bravo to you for having reached goal and beyond, patting you on the back and head and a great big hug for good measure.

Hi there Gabrielle,

Just thought i stop by and say hi...I have hit a wall and its been 2 weeks..As long as i dont gain thats ok.

So how's things going?

Any talk show offer's yet? lol

Later

Joe

What an awesome story! I really liked the part about being kind to your self....that's something that I'm going to have to think on. You look amazing by the way :)

Thanks everyone for your kind responses.

Nikotyme thats exactly what it was like getting to rock bottom or hitting a wall. It was almost like a natural thing to finally find a way that allowed me to loose and not make myself completely miserable in the process.

Joe the not moving for weeks on in was about norm for me. I had weeks were I lost at least 2 pounds a week and others when I lost absolutely nothing. I actually gained about 7 pounds in one week once only to have it gone the next week. I know you've heard this from me before but you gotta just keep on keeping on.

Wolfie isn't it almost shocking how hard it is TO be kind to ourselves? One of the things I noticed being larger was how invisible I was to the rest of the world. If I couldn't treat myself with kindness and respect how could I expect the same from a stranger?

I just want to hug you!!! I can't believe i'm just getting around to reading this story.. your writing in itself is beautiful..and your openness and dedication and honesty.. I am very proud to say that I know you.. You are amazing Gabrielle..

Luv,
Rachelle

Thanks so much Rachelle, that means a lot to me. I still have trouble writing these days but I’ve been working at it and with a lot of hardwork and self editing I'm becoming proud of my work again. Still doing those darned three pages a day too;)

Gabrielle

Beautiful! You sure are a success! Thanks for sharing your story.

Susan

Just stumbled onto your story.
What a great story! The dedication, the promise to yourself..
What an awesome job.

I believe that's the way to win this battle.. to start loving yourself.

Lynne