Unsolicited comments from strangers (vent)
 

I'm sure we've all been there.

Today a co-worker -- her second day on the job, might I add, and our first real conversation -- commented negatively on my food choices. I did not comment on hers. I defended my lifestyle but I've been stewing over this all day.

I really am offended that a complete stranger would give unsolicited comments about MY life, MY eating plan and what I CHOOSE to do. She went on about her low fat diet, and losing 40lbs in two months. Good for her, weight loss isn't easy. But instead of feeling happy for her, I am angry because she judged my way of life, and because she believes the media spin doctoring of the low-carb diet.

She's no skinny minnie herself -- not that one person's weight is 100% indicative of a weight-loss plan -- so why she chose to comment I am unsure.

The silliest part was, her lecture occured while I was eating a SPINACH SALAD. How anyone can tell ME that my eating is unhealthy while I'm eating one of the most nutrient-dense vegetables, I do not know.

AUGH. Ok I'm done venting now. Sigh. I'll let her think what she likes and as she sees me go down the scales perhaps I can be an example of how low carb can work for some people. :angel:

Obviously she just read the book "How To Win Friends And Influence People".

Liz

Smile
 

Smile and tell her how gooooood your cheese dipped in mayo tastes.

Or your strawberries in cream.

Or bacon and eggs for brekky.

Or that big juicy steak you had last night.


Ask her how that rabbit food she eats tastes.

What a dork.

Take the higher road. Just smile sweetly and say "I'm glad you found something that worked for you." Then drop the subject or move away. The more she gets the polite cold shoulder the more she may think about opening her big mouth.

I go through this all the time as soon as someone finds out I am a vegetarian. Happens at school, work and even this site. Kind of cracks me up that other people are so interested in what I put or don't put in my mouth. Maybe we should come up with a list of snappy replies to nosy, obnoxious people? The below are stolen!

1. When I want your opinion, I will be sure to ask for it.
2. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4.You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
5.I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

I love the rabbit food one!!! That's great. I can't wait to use that on this friend that is into low fat everything and says I'm going to go into kidney failure on Atkins. :) Annie

In 6 months smile at her and ask her how her Low calorie high carb diet is going!

You know I went through this last week, and the advice I was given was wonderful. The fact is, she is nothing to you in your life - you are doing a fantastic job of staying true to your way of life, and when her stomach is growling at 2pm becuase she is starving, you can smile sweetly and say "gee, I am still so full from lunch"!

haha, in two months when she has gained all her weight back and you have continued to loose.. ask her how her "low fat" diet is going?

There are times when a one-finger salute is called for, but not appropriate... <sigh>

My Mom who has been on the low carb WOL with me for over a year, (we've lost 75 lbs between us) was recently purchasing an DANDR book at our favorite second hand shop when this complete stranger says "I hope your not gonna do that diet!" My mom replied, "I've been eating this way for over a year." The lady went on and on about how Dr. Atkins died of liver failuer oir some other crap, and that she would pray for my Mom that she wouldn't die of this "Awful Diet" Well, to say she was flabbergasted is an understatement. She was so pissed off because she couldn't at the time think of a reply. She came back and told me, and of course I thought of a few choive words including "busy body, ignorant people should keep their mouths shut about things they haven't a clue." But, I wasn't there...sigh...

I agree with the person who said that you should smile and say that you're glad she found something that works for her. The truth is that no single plan works for everybody. I am one of the people who has been very successful on a low fat diet. I lost almost 60 pounds about five years ago while exercising and following a low fat/high fiber diet. I had stayed the same weight for four years until last year at this time when I did Atkins to fit into a dress (I needed to lose weight quickly and someone told me Atkins might work.) It did work, and I lost 10 pounds in about six weeks. I was thrilled until I went back to the way I was eating before and all of the weight came back, plus about ten pounds extra. Now I'm struggling to get these 10 pounds off again so I'll be back to my 'normal' weight again.

So far this time around on Atkins I haven't been nearly as successful. One person said I'm not having enough fat, but the truth is, if I add that much fat into my diet, I have severe stomach pains. Also, the last time I was on Atkins, my cholestrol skyrocketed. My doctor said if I was going to do low carb, I need to also do low fat. Where's the fun in that?

Ah, the naysayers. I do so love them.

About a month ago I had some friends from out of town visit for the day. For lunch we had the pizza quiche and a small salad and for dinner we had roasted chicken, roasted asparagus and a green salad followed by fresh strawberries and real whipped cream.

During dinner the young "ahem" lady was making some really uncalled for remarks about the idiots on Atkins - didn't they know all the fat and bacon would kill them and they just must have the world's worst cholesterol.

After dinner both she and her mom complimented me on the menu. My answer? I'm so glad you both enjoyed your Atkins' lunch and dinner. I sincerely hope you both don't have heart attacks on the way home.

DEAD SILENCE!!!! :lol:

I think I made them mad because they haven't even sent a thank you note for the birthday gift I sent home with them.

Oh well, it's their loss.

shortstuff

I just say, "I'm glad that [fill in the blank -- Weight Watchers, lowfat, whatever they are pushing] works for you. I tried it and it didn't work for me."

I can almost always say that, because I tried just about everything else before low carbing and none of them worked!

Now I'm not a very confrontational person, but Skinnyshel, in that case, I think I would have to just ask the woman "Are you always this rude to complete strangers?" Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't mean it's always appropriate to share it...

Hee hee - I can almost picture the expressions on their faces!

It's too bad that happened to you, IVannaBFit (great name!). Keep your head high and let your progress show the way.

Rocky

I think that is the best answer. Not putting her down for her choice. Don't stoop to her level. But bottom line, why are you being rude to me? I don't even know you nor did I ask for your opinion.


I'm fortunate with one of my co-workers. She is a skinny minnie. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But she has been my best supporter here at work. The other day she walked in that morning and patted me on the side of my hips. (my problem area) and said you are doing so good, look at you. I was so happy. She has been great this whole past 9 months. She is my little chearleader at work.

Deana

I am soo glad that I have nice co-workers. Right next to me sits this girl who is so skinny, you could get splinters of her. We went to the pub tonight and she ordered Potato Wedges for the whole table. She asked me what I was allowed to have on my diet before she went to order it and then asked for extra bacon and cheese on top, so I could share !!!! I thought that was sooo sweet. She is allways compliments me on my weight-loss as well. She really keeps me going.

Another girl is on Weight-Watchers and it allways cracks us up when we end up eating (mixed salad with grilled chicken breast) and drinking (Vodka/Diet coke) the same stuff.

I really like my co-workers. Posts like this show me how horrible other places can be....

RobsGal - How much have you talked to your doctor about the stomach pains you get when eating high-fat meals? This is sometimes experienced by people who are having gall-bladder problems. Stones take quite some time to develop, but the problems (blockages) often manifest during fat-loss diets (of all kinds).

If the pains continue to happen, or next time you see your doctor, the possibility of gall bladder problems might be worth exploring.

Cheers,

Friday

look at it this way--- if your new co-worker keeps up the comments to all the strangers at work, she may not be working there long! lol

I just sweetly smile at people when they comment on all the bad things about Low carbing and say, "It's not about losing weight, it's about getting my blood sugar under control. The fact that I am losing weight and have more energy is just a side benefit"

I'd say, "Well then, will you at least come visit me in the hospital when I have kidney failure?" ;) Leave em speechless.

Dana

It always reminds me of the Woody Allen movie, "Sleepers" where he wakes up hundreds of years later and they are telling him, "No, no, fat is good for you!"

This is what a lot of people are struggling with. I know when I started low carbing, it was freaky. It turned everything I thought I knew about food "upside down and inside out." But once I did the research and read the book, it made so much sense to me I had to....CHANGE MY MIND.

This is such an insurmountable hurdle for most people (not to mention thinking for themselves) that they never do it.

I always figure it is their loss (or not, in this case.)

I usually say, "Oh no, I did the research. You know the media often blows things out of proportion."

I like to use one I came up with when 'discussing' my new WOE with my mom. I modified it a bit for the buttinsky stranger situation:

"Yeah, I ate low fat-high carbohydrate for years too, until I read the report about how that's exactly what farmers feed their hogs to fatten them up for the butcher."

That ALWAYS leaves 'em with their mouth hanging open! :D

I double-checked that info with some farmer friends of mine and they verified it whole-heartedly. Nothin' fattens up a critter better than limiting their fat and pushing starches. The farm stores around here sell stuff called "finishing" feed. It's what you feed the animals in the last few months before market. Guess what kinds of ratios are in there??? I'll give you a hint - go take a look at that stupid USDA food pyramid...

Penny for your thoughts! No thanks
 

Wow, I am definietly not alone. I am constantly protecting myself at lunch time when my co-workers berate me for my daily food choices. I completely want to vent at them for their uneducated remarks and unsolicited advice and comments.

Whats helped me the most is by checking the number of Lo-Carbers that are using this network. There are tons of us, and the thing is, it's working---and fast too!

So I suggest in a couple on months you mosey down to her desk and ask "How's the kiss of death working for you. I'm sorry I mean the low calorie thing?"
LOL

I can't get over the nerve some people have in general. From commenting on your food to unsolicited opinions on everything else, you know?This person hardly knows you, yet has the nerve to step in and talk about something as personal as your weightloss plan. :nono: What a jerk.

I've a friend who is very anti-Atkins and is now wondering hwo the heck I'm losing weight. We go out, I have a fabulous salad loaded with spinch, chicken, ham, turkey (what is that called - the cobb salad?), a diet coke or like the last time we went out for pizza. I ate the topping and just simply said "eww..I don't like this crust" as my way out. We've known each other long enough that my not eating the crust wouldnt' freak her out at all. Hahahaha! Anyway, she's about 80lbs overweight and asked me the other day what I thought about Atkins. I started to say I thought it was great and WHAMMO she started attacking the diet. At the end of her "SERMON" she came out and asked me "Mavis, I know you're losing weight. What are you doing eating pizza? You can't do that!" I laughed and said "I can't? (chew chew chew) Someone call the diet police!" That shut her up.

Another line I've used on my own mother, after once again focusing on every morsel I eat was "Surely you can find something more interesting to talk about than the size of my a**, mother." Then I changed the subject.

If ms.low-fat brings it up again, I'd look at her like she was insane and ask her if she has anything else to talk about ."Is that all you talk about?" :p

Mavis

I'm constantly surprised how people make comments like that. After eating the exact same thing as a friend, without the bread of course, she made the comment "I hope your'e not going to do this "diet" too long, because it is so unhealthy. I started laughing out loud, I've never ate better, and I told her I will be doing this "diet" for the rest of my life.

I think our friends want to keep us the same weight, because they are afraid we will change on the inside too.

Marg

you know, everyone has their own opinions but i cant imagine EVER having the nerve to say what these people say!!! even if i saw someone eating ice cream and snickers bars everyday for lunch i would never open my mouth...its not my business #1, and #2, why would you want to make someone feel bad???????

i will tell you though, i dont think i ever had a negative response to atkins from people. apparently around here EVERYONE is doing low carb!!!

Okay, here's my vent about my anti low carb friends--we recently went on a weekend beach trip and everyone brought their own food. When we got hungry and put out an array of our foods, everyone ignored their high carb foods and gobbled up my pickled asparagus spears, deviled eggs, celery w/cream cheese, nuts, strawberries and sliced, chilled grilled meats. It was an interesting experiment--put out a spread of high and low carb foods, and watch how people will naturally choose what I truly believe we should all be naturally eating. This also educated my friends that Atkins is not just a "bacon and cheese" diet as many people think.
I read a book about the brain a while back, written by a neurologist who talked about the "caveman's diet" and how it accelerated evolution. Yep--the diet she described was pure Atkins--and she also recommended eating wild game wherever possible because of increased enzymes or something but I digress...

Ivanna--excellent topic you started as were the replies, but I think you are a class act for letting her thoughtless comments just hang in the air. It's good to know what kind of person you're dealing with on only the second day she's supposed to be adapting to your team!

Just browsing throught some exercise books at the local bookstore and was surprised how many of the exercise gurus actually mentioned modest fat and low carb intake for muscle building & fat lose, a couple even mentione "Ketosis" like it was a good thing.

Interesting, even the experts are catching on to what works for us.