Too thin
 

Do you ever have family members or friends tell you that you have lost enough or too much?

I keep getting comments from relatives and coworkers telling me to stop losing weight. My mil thinks that I will become anerxic (sp). My dh has to explain to her that I eat tons of things, just not carby things. :rolleyes:
My stepdad says I look haggared.

I am still in the 140s, it isn't like I am wasting away. Is it just that they are so used to seeing me with the extra 60 lbs.

Whatever it is, it is very irritating. I mean I feel pretty good about the way I look until I hear these comments.

I am happy, my husband is happy. Isn't that all that matters? My family told me 20 some pound ago that I looked good and had lost enough. LOL Now I am starting to go to the jym to tighten up all that needs tightening :) Give them time, and they will get use to seeing you thin.

Hi Jen :)

That is a tough one. 140 lbs may be considered thin for my height of 5' 11" (and it happens to be my goal weight) but I'm going to gander you are shorter.

I have seen a few Atkins people in the before, during and after photos and thought they looked better in the face in the 'during' photos. I have also seen some people who look INCREDIBLE in their after photos and their during photos really do look like just that.

If you come from a "big" family, you will tend to get those "yer getting too thin remarks." However, not all MIL's are selfless and she could also be jealous (however, she could be a saint as well - it is something you have to weigh out for yourself).

The only person I will get the "yer too thin" remark from is my mother who is over 350 lbs and not a millimeter above 5' 5".

I am not asking or even suggesting that you have to do this but if you want blunt honesty, post a photo of you.

I suspect you look great because that is how you feel when you look in the mirror :)

I get that I don't need to lose weight comment all the time, it drives me nuts!!!

It really isn't anybody elses business, as long as you are healthy that is all that matters. I wonder sometimes if people just say things like that to make us feel better about ourselves. They think that we need to hear that we look fine the way we are so we won't worry about it so much. Like when an overweight person makes a fat joke about themselves and someone sais, oh your not overweight. Do people think that they really believe them, or that it made them feel better.

I wouldn't worry about it, you know what your doing!

Wee

According to your stats you are 5'4" so 140 isn't too thin. I'm 5'10" and at one time in my life weighed 140 ( a long long time ago) Maybe they are jealous or they think you'll get real thin & sexy & leave your dh!

i know exactly what you mean! I get told that im too skinny all the freakin time. Sometimes my dad even refers to me as "Anna" because he thinks im Anorexic.

I get that SOS from my in-laws, co-workers, and sometimes even from my wife! It's even more irritating when people with serious weight & health issues get judgemental about *your* weight. Blow them off. When that ambulance comes, it won't be for you.

I think that's probably at the heart of it all. At your current height and weight, you are not too thin, but they are "used to" you being 60 pounds heavier and even though they may consciously recognize that weighing less is better for you, it still represents a changed you; one that they are not comfortable with even though the only thing that has likely changed about you is your weight and perhaps having a more positive attitude about yourself.
Many people find change threatening and are not aware of it; they are only aware that they feel vaguely uncomfortable and think that if you "stop losing weight" that the uncomfortable feeling will go away.
It could also be that your success with losing weight is a reminder every time that they see you that while you have been successful at losing weight, they are still the way they were; it's a blatant reminder to them that they aren't doing anything about their weight issues and if you go back to being the way you were, they won't have to face that anymore.
Relax and enjoy your success; the comments are more about them then they are about you and they'll get used to the thinner you eventually. :)

Right on!~~~~~~

I don't mean this to belittle what your feeling at all. I know it must be bothersome and annoying.....
but I can't wait until someone says that to me! I'll feel like I accomplished everything I intended. Someone would FINALLY be jealous of MY body! AH I cant wait!

I get it from my MIL all the time... she practically screams it through a mega phone every time we go to a family event. It embarasses me to no end, and I have to constantly defend my WOE to her... she btw is 5'2 and WELL over 300 pounds, on every medication known to man, including Zenical and should be taking notes from me! Whew, rant over ;)

People seem to be afraid of one becoming anorexic. What they don't realize is you have set a goal for yourself. A friend of mine told me that I was thin enough. However, I know how much weight I want to lose and I will reach my goal. When I met my husband, I weighed 125ish lbs. At 5'3'' that is hardly underweight. I also want to achieve a body fat of 20-25%. This is definitely not an anorexic amount of body fat.So, there is no reason for me to not achieve that goal. WHy can't I just say that to them?

B57

Sigh. I dream of having people tell me I'm too thin! I can't imagine being annoyed!

I am waiting for the point were my undies seem to slide right off my butt, and are big and baggy, then I know I am losing weight.

I hope someone will tell me I look to thin maybe in about 12 months time.

Sccuffy

Hey Sccuffy, your text is SO thin, we can't see it!

Seriously, whatever color you're using for your post is almost invisible against the gray background (let alone the light-colored background). Did you intend to have your post almost invisible?

I got the "You're too thin!" comments from my relatives back when my weight was under 140. However, I tended to give more credence to what I was hearing from prospective sex partners then, so I mostly just ignored them. I know my relatives love me, so I'm not going to worry about it when I get to my goal weight.

I know exactly how you feel, I got one of those comments from someone on this board :)
What really bugs me is the comments that come from people that nagged you about losing weight(my mil) in the first place... now you have and they are still complaining. You cannot please everyone....so now I am all about making myself happy and being healthy.

cheers,
Judi

This is the comment Smurf got on her Goal Picture

Quote:

Originally Posted by PT_Ireland Congratulations, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're too skinny now. Go eat a baked potato or something. I'm honestly not being mean, I'm just worried about your health.

:Puke:

One thing is when friends and family tells you you're to thin - another is when people at this board post comments like the above......

I read this yesterday and almost posted a curt reply :devil: ...... but I did'nt want to sink to PT_Irelands level........

I wish that someone would tell me I'm to skinny.......never happened...ever !!!

Yeah...I've gotten those comments almost since my loss first started becoming noticeable. It doesn't make me feel good at all when people say it because I know its not true. I can look in the mirror and see that I still need to lose. I don't have an issue where I might "see" myself as fat when I'm really too thin.

I did use those comments as justification for not staying on this woe a few times. Just kind of rationalized things to myself, but bottom line is...I don't know what weight I will end up at as my final goal, but I will know it when I get there and I am NOT really even close. I still feel I have a significant bit to lose...not as much as when I started, but I could lose another 25 or 30 lbs. easily and that's the plan :)


L

I can so relate to the above post !!

Since Christmas Ive been told by a number of people that 'you dont want to lose anymore weight' , 'you need to be careful that you dont go all anoxeric on us' and even yesterday I was told by someone that 'i was starting to look gaunt' .

So so annoys me, I know I have more weight to lose, Ive checked my target weight against what my BMi would be and it indicates that I would be within a 'normal' weight bracket, and my current weight shows a BMi of 27.7 which is classed as overweight so I know im not being unrealistic with my targets.

I admit, I look 100 times better than I did at the start of this WOL but I know that I could look better!!

Im sure people think that its a compliment, but I really wish they would keep their opinions to themselves. and if after I have lost say another 7 lbs im happy with the way I look, im more than comfortable with adjusting my target weight - its not set in stone - but you do need an end goal to work towards !!

Guess we just have to ignore them and do what we know is best and realsitic for all of us !!

Lisa x

I think people just don't know much about anorexia, that's what I think. As if being on a diet where you EAT A LOT, EVERY DAY is *anything* like being anorexic. My boyfriend's stepmother, who is severely overweight and unhealthy, gave me this lecture on stopping my diet. Now, I've lost a lot, but I'm nowhere near where I want to be. 160 pounds at 5'4" is NOT "too skinny"!

My advice: Just ignore them.


Holly

JustJen, you're progress is something to be very proud of. You know you look great, and it's true people aren't used to the new you yet. I get alot of those comments too, "you're way too skinny, or, you're too big boned to loose more weight"....
I just ask if they'd like to see me naked and then reassess me!!!!
Anyway...Congrats!!! You're and inspiration for sure!!!

I am glad, kinda, that I am not the only one with this problem. I could always use the wanna "see me naked" comment. :lol:

Yup, I'd get the "too thin" comment after I lost all the weight... but it was from ppl who didn't know me years ago when I was at this weight, so they didn't know I have always been on the thin side. I realized it was a shock to them, they weren't used to me that way, plus, many ppl worry you will go too far, which is concern. Also, it's a way some ppl compliment, saying "you're thin!" It's like "wow, that "diet" worked!" My MIL would make a comment everytime she'd see me, but she's stopped now, she's realized this is the way I am now, get used to it!

OMG I get this all the time too....I can't stand it. Drives me NUTS! I think each individual knows their body best and knows what weight they feel comfortable at.



That is exactly how I feel too.

Glad I'm not the only one!
 

I get it from my mother. It is usually after I say something like I intend to lose another 20 lbs. Sher replies with something like this:

"You know, you look fine. You don't want to be TOO skinny or unhealthy."

This is also the woman that is a WW/low fat guru who actually likes low fat/no fat products. Blech! She is convinced that Atkins is going to kill me, even if she hasn't read the book (and I've even bought her a copy!). She was on the phone first thing Monday morning to tell me about the article in the New York newspaper.

Now, I am in the 150s currently, and I'm 5'6". I want to be in the 130s, which is in the middle of the recommended weight limits for my age and height. This is not "too skinny" or unhealthy at all. Plus, and most importantly - I eat! I eat healthy stuff, meats, lots of veggies, cheese and I snack on almonds. I sure as heck eat better stuff than her "frankenfoods".

I just wish she'd READ THE BOOK!

Whew! Rant over!

I have a few comments that I save uo for times like this.
Like when someone tells me I should stop doing Atkins, I've already lost enough, blah blah blah, I tell them that it is not a diet, it's not just for weight loss,I'm in it for life, etc.

My favorite is when people hear "no-carb" when you say "low-carb." There's a HUGE difference people!

Those people who mention anorexia should be handed a dictionary, and a sample daily menu of the average LC'er.

Call me a cynic, but a fundamental aspect of SOME people's personalities is that they do not like seeing other people happy, or they are jealous of someone else's success. Some people may not want you to lose any more weight because they feel threatened by your improved appearance. Given your height and weight (similar to mine), you are at a healthy weight, and losing a few more if that is what you want to do would not make you too thin. I want to be 125 myself, but even losing another 15 lb. at my height would not, in my opinion, make me look too thin. You just have to smile at those people, say "Thank you, I take that as a compliment" and walk away.

I'm only half way to goal and when I said that to three friends they went all, on no you don't need to lose any more weight. These are all overweight people saying this. However, nothing more was said when I said I I'm going by what the BMI Chart says I should weigh to achieve that and be healthy.

In defense of all those well meaning friends and relatives, there is some truth to the "haggard" comment. Don't forget how the body moves fat around: you lose it from the top down, and then redistribute it from the bottom up. That is, most people lost weight from their face and neck and upper chest first, only from the ab, hips and thighs as it shifts from there upward. Apparently this process takes about six months (there's a thread around somewhere that I can't find, of course). So after you hit goal, your face with fill out a little and soften up (some people even report their boobs get perkier - may the Lord hear me typing those words ...) Be prepared at that time for people to say "you're putting back a couple of those pounds, are you? See, I told you that you were too thin!"

But you can't win with mothers and cousins, is my experience!