So sad, BF is a meany!
 

Sunday night BF looked at me and said, maybe you should stop cheating!
I dont cheat, well I did cheat once on the first day(one tortilla chip :nono: ) and it wasn't a real cheat because I stayed in the a lotted 20 carbs, but anyway I said what do you mean, he said you NEED to loose weight! :cry: I cried all day, he thinks it is okay for him to say that! I really am hating me right now! And thinking about leaving the a**hole!He said some other things but I dont want to get in to that right now! I was so sad I thought I was doing good! I told him we need time appart!

The nerve of him!!! It sounds like you're doing GREAT! I think you need to tell him to take a hike!

Keep up the great work!

~Amy

Meghan,

He sounds like he has no love or respect for you, or is he just tactless all the time,

Has he given you any praise at all for the weight you have lost, if not, you might want to re-evaluate you situation.

If your innthe early stages of your dating, this is the worst sign possible as he will not get better with time, they get WORSE....

We have been together for 2 years, and he never has done anything like this before, he was just so cruel!, and it really started and month ago when he was saying I dont contribute to the relationship!?! I said well maybe we should break up. and he said no I love you, I dont want to break up but I really dont think I can handle any more abuse and personal attacks!

Rethink this relationship. You should and need to love yourself and like yourself. You don't have to live with others but you do have to live with yourself. What you weigh is not truly important. Granted being overweight can cause health problems and for that reason losing is a good thing. But losing weight is not going to change anything else. You can feel good about youself at any size, you can be loved at any size, you can accomplish whatever you want to accomplish at any size. People think they will lose weight and everything will be different--not true. The people who truly love us do not qualify that love and suggest that we must "do something" to be loved.

If the problems just started and you just started losing weight, any chance he is feeling threatened by your weight loss? Sounds stupid but some folks cannot deal with their significant other resolving a problem (weight, alcohol or drug abuse) and they become difficult.

If in 2 years he has really been OK, maybe you need counseling to discover what the real problem is--it isn't what you eat.

You know hun... no guy has the right to make you feel like crying all day long... occasionally they will... but if it was said intentionally then the guy is not worth your time....

You are doing great... and you should be treated like you are doing great... Tell him to shut up... and support you...
If he doesn't then leave him.

I say kick him to the curb. As you pointed out-this is emotional abuse. You are young, you are gaining control of your weight and you can do much better.

Honey, with all the weight you're losing and your fabulous personality, it sounds like you can do SO much better. Don't take that crap from anybody -- when someone you love tells you (out of concern for your health) that you might want to lose weight, that's one thing. It's totally different when a significant other hatefully says "You need to lose weight." You're better off without him. If you don't believe me, ask Dr. Phil! Ha!

sooooo..lose your weight...then lose him! :)

YOU need to dump his ass! You need to be with someone who reminds you constantly how beautiful you are. Men suck! grrrrr

Men DON'T suck. Stupid, evil, abusive men (and WOMEN) suck. He will always find something wrong with you if you let him. Just say GO!

Kick him to the curb, Don't take ~#$% from no one!

A jerk of that magnitude doesn't deserve to get to know the new, slimmer you. Drop the dork!

Lose weight for yourself. No one else.

Anyone who makes you cry with cruelty is not worthy of your love.

I say drop a lot of pounds real quick--Him. No one deserves any kind of abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is just as harmful as sexual or physical. Love yourself. The rest is the easy part.

at 5'7" and 26% body fat, you are already a healthy weight. 130 could be a little low for you making you lose lean mass.
After 2 years, sit down alone and review your relationship. Think about level of respect you have for each other, and what your goals are for the relationship. Then have a serious talk with your BF and explain how his coment made you feel. Men can be extreamly clueless and he may of ment osmething less harsh such as "You state alot you want to lose weight" but he phrased it in a very tactless way.

If he still pressures you to lose weight, insults you in any way, or tries other methods to try and make you feel infirior, then it is time to leave. That is one of the very strong early signals of an abuser. They start by knocking down your self worth.

Thanks guys, today was real hard he came over and tried to act like everything was okay! I went grocery shopping with him to talk, and the whole time at the store I felt like any girl smaller than me that we saw he was thinking wow she is much better than you! Makes me want to not go into public I feel like I weigh 1,000pounds I can feel the fat in my stomach and thighs! :cry:

OH and when you told me to look at Mt. Rainer I though how did she know I am in Washington he he totally forgot it is written by my name :lol: he he!

For the ladies!
Loaded up on LC and SF treats, its that time of the month YUCK!!!
I was wondering if because of all the fat I am eating, could that be the cause of my EXTREME cramps I cant even walk unless I take a pain pill!

*hug* I know how you feel, sometimes I get insecure and I cant help. Maybe you need to remind him that he needs to compliment you and make you feel secure! We all know that loving ourselves is very important, but sometimes it is truly hard to push those negative thoughts about ourselves away.

Keep the weight ... lose the BF
 

I had a bf that pushed me to lose wt. The more I lost, the fatter he said I was (at the most emotionally vulnerable times). He hated the fact that I was lookin great and he knew I would probably dump him.
He was just making pre-emptive strikes. Once I felt stronger I left him and met my wonderful husband.

Good luck & hang in there!

My husband has never told me that I needed to lose weight. And I thank him for that. That is something that I do not need to hear. But I am losing weight for myself; my health, and my looks! I try to stay true to myself and keep myself strong. I want to pass this on to you and don't make much of what the meany has said to you. If he continues to demonstrate his own insecurity, he will be an albotross around your neck.
But if he should grow up a bit then maybe, just maybe, he will be worth keeping but the choice is yours, not his to make.

I must give him credit. It seems like your bf believes in LCing.

JMO,
Black57

Megan, take it from me.. I married a guy like that and was stuck with him for the next 17 years. He judged me by my weight, just like your guy does and that is not a fun way to live. What if you marry this guy and have kids with him? He will be on your back constantly.

We all deserve to be with someone who thinks we are special and accepts everything about us. I have that now and I wish the same for you :)

Take care,
Tracy

Hi Meg...
 

I agree with SharAnn.......men DON'T Suck....What sucks is what we LET some of them do to us.

I was with a man I was very in love with from age 30-33. He was everything a mom might want for a girl; had money, was good looking, charming and had a very impressive job. He took me out for expensive dinners and lavished me with expensive gifts. But he was so verbally abusive to me that my friends wouldn't have anything to do with him...even avoiding me when we were a couple. He thought the things he said were funny, but they were painful and made my friends angry. I finally realized how detrimental the comments were to ME and realized that the only thing that might change was ME. So I left....

Within 6 months, I was married to my current husband who is one FANTASTIC man. He is gorgeous, funny, sweet, smart and.....well, there aren't enough adjectives. He has never ONCE asked me my weight or made an issue of it. I told him I was starting this diet and he has been so supportive. He even brought me home 10 cans of tuna my first day! lol I asked him the other day why he fell in love with and married me fat...He said it was because I was the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. Now THAT is the kind of guy we should all be looking for. When I asked if he'd love me more thinner, he said, "No...I can't love you any more than I do."

It was hard losing the excess bagage I was carrying...and I don't mean my WEIGHT! But, I sent him to the curb and gave myself room in my life for a man who was wonderful and supportive. Get the moral of this story?? :roll:

Bestof luck to you. I hope you always make good decisions for yourself. Don't let anyone else be a roadblock on your road to success!

Charlotte

PS: We just celebrated out one year anniversary the 16th of August and it seemed like a WEEK!! :Party:

One thing that really pops out is you seem to have a very low body image. You are not grossly overweight as you seem to think. 26% BF is healthy. If you want to tone up and tighten, then ecercise may help that more then anything. TOM and the wonderful hormones brought on by this WOE could be contributing.

First ask yourself though, did your BF give any indication he was looking at other women, or was that just coming from you? After 2 years you may have good insite into what he is thinking at times, and do you honestly think he was comparing your worth to other women's? If so then definetly have a talk with him. If it could of been more hormones on your side, then maybe step back for a moment and take a deep breath.

What you really need to work on more then your weight though is your self image. Are you going to be happy when you reach goal weight? It's not a magic number that will make everything in your life suddenly better. You won't feel 100% confident all of a sudden and all your relationship problems won't magicaly disapear. There will always be smaller people. What you need to do though is start learning to accept your body and make it as healthy as possible, if that means losing weight or not.

There are more fish in the sea. If he can not lovingly support you. Believe me there are those men who will. Maybe he thought by being cruel he could keep you motivated. Whatever his reason it is not acceptable. You stay focused on your goal and let him watch you melt.

I would suggest to review your relationship. It's easy for me to say yea yea he'a jerk go kick his ass out the door. But, I'm only hearing *your* side of the story. We are all biased towards our favor :p

If in the 2 years he has been fine, and this is a recent development, AND you think the relationship is worth the work, I would suggest counseling.

How many of us in our relationships have said and done things that we regret? How many things have we done, that if taken out of context and placed in a messageboard, we would be seen as "jerks"?

And btw, I'm not talking about constant abusive behavior (that's awhole different ballgame).

My 2 cents :)

Hmm very true, I mean his comment towards you might have been him trying to be helpful. BUt regardless, if he doesnt treat you as his queen and doesnt tell you how beautiful you are, then its time to move on I feel. :)

Just my 2 cents... My husband and I had have said stupid, mean things to each a couple of times over the years, and always regretted it and apologized - immediately. I think if this was a one time, hurtful, stupid comment, you should call him on it. Let him know how upset it made you, and that you absolutely will not put up with it again. He knows you are focused on your weight loss right now, and that is how to get at you! Very childish and dumb. I would ask myself if this is typical of him, or just potty of the mouth. Stick up to him, don't just let it slip, or it WILL happen again.

Well Yestuday,he kept saying I am sorry for this and that and this, but ever so tip towing around the big issues! And asked if he could come over today I said no! He said well I am going to, so I dont think I will be at home tonight! He said I love, I couldn't say it back I just didn't feel it at that point I dont like the way he looks any more if that makes sense! I dont like the way it feels when he touches me, my skin just crawls!
I put the ring he gave me in my jewlry box and maybe it will end up in the door step tonight! :cry: I dont know maybe some time appart is all I need or maybe I would be happier with some one else!

As my husband says. "Give him an apple and a road map."

But really, let him know how much it hurt you to be treated like that. If it was triggered by something outside your relationship, he will probably be very sorry. Let his reaction to letting him know how you felt about his comments guide you.