Hi...
I seem to have reached this thread a little late but will add my sixpence'worth anyway! Between the ages of 14 and 16 (I'm now 19 going on 20) I was a Bulimic/ Anorexic who planned half my life around food. It began in 1998 when, after 8 years of bullying about my weight and general appearance, something snapped and I just started throwing up after meals. I don't know why I chose this- one day I just started, and it became the regular thing for the next two years. Another contributing factor was that I started puberty relatively young- didn't have my first period until I was 14- and absolutely hated it. When 'that time of the month' came around I would put on upto a quarter of a stone and it wouldn't go for almost two weeks. I wanted to be slim and popular, not the fat geek in the corner. So, in my messed up brain, I decided that the only way of achieving this was through an Eating Disorder. I would get up, drink a pint of milk and whatever I could find that was easy to throw up and that would be my breakfast gone. I would eat as much soup, dairy and liquid as possible as that was the easiest thing to get rid of. When I couldn't throw up because it was inconvenient, I would limit myself to 50 calories a day. If I went over this I would go and be sick anyway. It got to the point in 2000 when I was throwing up water- I had grown accustomed to feeling empty all the time and even the pressure of that on my stomach was too much to bear. In the end I blurted it all out to my mam before a school play I was in, and she took me to the doctor. I was prescribed Prozac which stopped the throwing up as it burned, and was put on a strict diet plan. I did keep relapsing, and as my lowest weight (8stone) is still 'healthy' for my height (5'8") no-one noticed, and as far as my doc was concerned she had another satified customer. It took my own sheer strength of will to pull me out of the rut I was in, and the help from my best friend (accompanying me to the toilet etc) that helped me eventually recover year later. I came out of it relatively unscathed compared to some; I have a clean bill of health, and my stomach functioning returned to normal last year. I was also able to help one of my old friends recover from anorexia- nothing beats home what you are doing to yourself better than when your friend is vanishing before your eyes. I managed to get 13 GCSEs, 4 A-Levels, and and soon to start my final year in my University degree after which I will train to become a teacher. I am now on Atkins as after my recovery I have for the last year and a half had a stubborn 75lb to get rid of, which is making me obese. However, this time I want to lose it honestly, and with as little obsession as possible. I also want to keep eating healthily for the rest of my life; I've only been here 19 3/4 years- I want the rest of my life to be long, and healthy. My advice to Seluratep is this. I know exactly how you feel about reducing your weight to overcome stressful situations- i did it myself. When I sat my GCSEs I was 112lb (actually, your ideal weight!) . However, denying that what you are doing is problematic is itself the biggest problem. After I stopped being bulimic, sure, I felt low and that I'd betrayed myself for some weird reason. But, if you step back, you have to FORGET emotional ties and acknowledge the physical effects of your actions- they will, eventually, kill you. I realised that early, I stopped. Please at least try :( |
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Well, I wouldn't be that surprised, as I work in a book store and know exactly what sort of diet books we carry. (Ice cream diet, anyone?) But that was just my point--no one is going to run around waving a flag that says, "Anorexia is the bestest EVAH!" That's because, at some level, they know that it's not healthy. Quote:
Unfortunatly, the USDA food pyramid "balanced meals" lead me down that road. For years I ate bagels with low fat cream cheese and plates of pasta and whole grain bread, because that was what I was told to do. Then the binging started, because carbs screw up your blood sugar, and there's not much you can do to stop them. Quote:
No, you would not tell a recovering bulimic to abstain from food. However, you would tell her to abstain from purging. You wouldn't say, "Okay, Sally... this week you can throw up HALF of what you eat! Don't worry, you're doing it in moderation!" You need nutrition to live. You find that, for the most part, in meat and veggies. There is very little in bread or pasta or candy or soda that a body needs to live. Most of the important nutrients and vitamins that are important to a body are readily available from the foods I eat. I eat 5-6 cups of veggies a day, along with my meat and cheese and eggs. Quote:
So what foods am I missing? I eat veggies and fruit. (Those are carbs, by the way, despite what the food pyramid seems to think.) I eat meats and seafood. I eat cheese and eggs. I drink lots and lots of water. How is this not balanced? All I'm not eating is heavily refined foods that aren't healthy for you anyways. |
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Wow.. that does seem fascinating. Perhaps that is the reason Ive always found it so hard to recovery. I'll definitely be looking for this book online. Thank you so much for the suggestion. :) |
redworm- First of all, congratulations on your success and recovery! Your story was definitely inspiring.
Thank you for your concern and your advice. I came here, because I thought Id found a place similar to what I am going through and wanted to understand. You all have definitely given me a lot to think about and helped me to understand your lifestyle and why it is so beneficial. Thank you all so much.. and Im sorry if I got off to an offensive start! Breecita- Perhaps you are right. I, also, have always believes in the standard food pyramid and thought moderation of all of their sections would lead you to your optimum health. But I am starting to see the flaws in the food pyramid; I dont know why I didnt see them before. They do not cater to a person's specific needs. What about vegetarians? I would always just replace their "meat" section with tofu and other high protein things. I suppose the same is true of carbs. You do get some carbs from fruit and veggies, so how could cutting out the processed bread and refined sugar be so bad? Thank you again for your explanation. And I definitely do think it seems balanced. :) I'm not afraid to admit when I was wrong! My views have definitely changed some since Ive been here, and thats what I was hoping for. |
I was a vegetarian for almost 4 years and after the inital adjustment it wasn't that big of a deal. Like you said there are plenty of products available that give adequate protein and other nutrients. So I commend you on cutting out meat. The atkin's diet (to me anyhow) is about finding a healthy way to give my body everything it needs to produce muscle, bone, blood etc. To become the best machine it can be. At my heaviest I would sit and eat an entire cake, shoving it in literally with my hands... Then later would be trying to throw it up. Luckily I didn't spiral too far into that. The Atkin's diet has helped me understand that food has a place in myself but it will not consume every aspect of it. Food is now just a requirement for my body to function, not an all consuming need that filled my day. There is not one single food that I couldn't give up, not one single food that I MUST have. Food does not control me anymore, the number on the scale does not control me anymore. I am in complete control over my body and it's health. To me that's an amazing feeling though it took me a long time to gain that kind of confidence in myself. Thanks to the Atkin's diet I've achieved that.
~ Cori ~ P.S we LC'ers are the anti-christ to people with ED's? LOL, didn't know we had an anti-fan club... I never thought of that, what causes this hatred? |
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Because their irrational paranoia and hatred of bodily fat translates into an irrational paranoia and hatred of dietary fat. Never mind that dietary fat is ESSENTIAL, never mind that our hair, skin, nails, mood, and energy tends to improve along with a LC lifestyle; we're lazy bacon-bingers looking for an easy way out. :rolleyes: I don't bother hanging out even on recovery boards, because the hostile attitude persists and I'm sick and tired of myth-busting. |
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Cori, I couldn't agree more. Yes, there's a period when you're first learning to count carbs where you have to think about it more but once you get a good handle on how many carbs are in the typical foods that you eat, it's very liberating and I've found that I hardly have to think about it at all anymore; it's just become second nature to me. On top of that, I'm not thinking about food all the time because I'm hungry and constantly thinking about when my next meal will come as well as planning what I will eat at that next meal. When I get hungry now, it's true hunger and not a sugar-crash induced state where I'm ready to eat anything that isn't nailed down or moving. My moods are also much better now as my family can attest to. All those sugar highs and crashes (and being hungry all the time) were making me decidedly grumpy before. :p |
Tofi,
Had to comment you are good I am going to start reading more carefully. Pat S. |
Eating Disorders Vs. Low Carbing
As someone who has also struggled with an eating disorder I feel the need to interject here. I first developed an eating disorder at age 16. I am now 25 years old and have finally broken the binge purge cycle for almost a year now. I've been in treatment programs, as well as individual therapy and have undergone immense improvements in the last several years. I still struggle with body image and obsessing about food and my weight, however, I have been pretty good and keeping it under control. With that said, I think the girl who posted this orginal message has a point about the whole counting carbs thing, but perhaps didn't explain it properly.
First let me say that I do not think eating disorders are in any way comparable to Low Carbing. For one thing, eating disorders are rooted in deep psychological and emotional turmoil. While often times eating disorders begin with dieting that gets out of control, not everyone goes onto develop eating disorders. There are many factors which contribute to one's developing of an eating disorder, some of which are genetic, biological, social, emotional, psychological, etc. But to put things in the simplest of terms, the main difference between an eating disorder and Low Carbing is that an eating disorder is the SYMPTOM of a significant underlying issue, and it is one that is often times extremely dangerous and self destructive. To my knowledge, Low Carbing is the exact opposite of such self destruction. Low Carbing seeks to optimize health, not destroy it. Low Carbing seeks to empower one's self... not weaken it. Low Carbing is not a diet that gets out of control, nor is it a disease. With that said, I think the original poster had an important point in that I can see where some individuals could get carried away with counting carbs and living the "low carb" lifestyle; that is, I can see how it could become an obsession for some people. This same type of obsession is seen in people with eating disorders and so in this sense, I can see how one might make the comparison between the two. But bottom line.... I think anything can turn into an obsession if you have an obsessive personality.... |
seluratep,
I could only read partway through this long posting, I noticed you said you were in a commited relashionship, how does your partner feel about you losing even more weight? Are they not scared of losing you. I wonder just what has prompted your ED, do you have a handle on that, before you even think about losing more weight, deal with what is pushing you to think that 80 is the magic number and all the pain/hurt will leave you when you reach that weight, because it won't, it will still be there like a shadow on a sunny day, following you. I myself use to have a magic number, and if I got below that then I would be "happy" and life would be grand, but I have realized along time ago, that life is grand everyday no mater how much I weight and no damn number on a scale can erase the painful memories that I have, I have dealth with them and they are in my past, now I want to live, and live for me! A life is a terrible thing to waste please don't waste it, you have the power to change your world. |
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One hears this "multifactoral" theory (genetic, biological, social, pocket lint, sports, hot sauce, etc) a lot when dealing with puzzling disorders. While some find multifactoral theories useful, I do not - they raise red flags for me in that they signify a disturbing failure of deductive thought. Consider stomach ulcers. For decades ulcers were considered a multifactoral disease: caused by a combination of genetics, physical stress, emotional stress, spicy food, and so on. Ulcer patients were treated with milk and advised to reduce stress. Neither did much good. It was then that Dr. Marshall and Dr. Warren discovered Helicobacter pylori - the bacteria that causes ulcers. (http://www.cellsalive.com/helico.htm) Although they were ridiculed for years, eventually the useless multifactoral model for ulcers imploded. Nowadays, antibiotics do an excellent job of curing or controlling most ulcers - and, spicy foods like hot peppers and garlic have antimicrobial properties that would have helped stop the ulcers before they started. Consider obesity. One hears multifactoral models for obesity/overeating all the time - the same infuriating mixture of fatty diet, genetics, stress, etc. Stunningly, however, the simple steps of reducing the carbs and increasing the fat in one's diet are melting off pounds around the world, and reshaping the economics of food - and the multifactoral model of obesity is dying a bitter but inevitable death as the truth about carbs is spreading. Now, consider anorexia. Like stomach ulcers (historically) and obesity (partially still), anorexia is considered a multifactoral, food/eating-related disorder, with other nebulous, unproven factors involved. In my opinion, that is just meaningless crap - comforting crap to some, perhaps, but still crap to anyone honestly searching for solid answers. Now, the sentiment behind this crap is not necessarily bad - I'm sure it is spread by good people who are just trying to ease the pain associated with those with an ED. The problem with spreading this crap is that it discourages people from thinking critically about concrete causes or treatments. In the end, this makes the multifactoral model the enemy of a cure to this or any other ailment. |
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It's a common misconception that we all eat tons of meat and no veggies, and I think part of the reason that people have reacted so strongly is because it's a stereotype that everyone is tired of hearing. I'm glad you've learned a little more about low carbing! I wish others were willing to listen. There would be fewer people out there eating 3 pounds of bacon and a tub of sugar free ice cream and wondering why they don't lose weight. :D |
Reply to GotBeer on Eating Disorders
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Eating disorders are complex diseases and can not be compared to, or treated the same, as any other disorder, be it psychological or physical. |
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Of course they can compared. I just did it. Eating disorders are touted as complex diseases, but I have yet to see a shred of proof that they are. Not one shred. |
Hey Seluratep,
How's it going? I can tell that you're trying to deal with a lot of issues--you mentioned PTSD. I won't ask, as I'm sure it's a fairly private thing, but I'm willing to bet it has a lot to do with your "goal weight" of 80# that you mentioned. I too have a goal weight right now of 240--probably the first goal of several descending goals. I'm dealing with AvPD--avoidant personality disorder. Very not fun. Just recently recognized what it is, though I've been a slave to it for about 18 years (I'm 32) and eating was my way of coping. And by the nature of AvPD, it was self-reenforcing--the added weight/size added to the AvPD, which added to the eating, etc. I weighed myself this morning at 310.5# and I'm in a 'swing phase' where I'm trying to get serious about Atkins again, but it's hard to do for a myriad of reasons, not just internal ones. You're not alone in weight issues which might be related to other things. BTW, I hope you don't plan on dropping down to 80# too fast before you go to college. There's a popular myth, which I've seen played out about half the time, called the "freshman fifteen", regarding the number of pounds gained on average by college freshmen, based on the new-found freedom and necessity of self-sufficiency. Might be best to hold off on the weight drop until you hit school, just not even think about it, and then give 'er a shot when you find out what school's all about once you're there. Could serve to balance out and save you from the 'freshman fifteen' altogether. Something else you might find interesting, that I've found pretty informative-- www.mybodycomp.com . It takes some measurements you make and figures your body composition in terms of lean tissue and body fat and your basal metabolic rate--how much you burn up each day just by being alive. Pretty insightful stuff, and pretty accurate from what I've seen there. sean |
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