Active Low-Carber Forums - Dr. Phil's questions

I did these right now. They are so personal to post but I will, people need what you have, don't they?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT?

Curiousity. I want to know what it's like to be normal weight and I want to see how people treat me at a normal weight. I don't want to have to do this over or do it later so I'm doing it now, while I'm young. There are a gazillion other reasons to why I would want to, but these are my primary reasons. I've loved
my body when I was 200lbs. I'll love it now, even if I look like a complete stranger in the mirror. I'll find myself, not in my exterior, but on this journey.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING--OR NOT DOING--TO LOSE WEIGHT?

1. Counting calories
2.Counting carbohydrates
3. Not obsessing about pounds lost.
4. Being on this site. Encouraging others, being encouraged. Love it!
5. Learning patience and setting realistic goals.
6. I'm not sabotaging myself, I gave that up awhile ago, so I'm not doing anything not to lose weight. My body works how it works and I've accepted it.
7. Taking neccessary vitamins for fat metabolism.
8. Eating enough protein to keep more muscle mass.
9.Giving up eating patterns and foods that are my weakness like overabundance of food, mozzarella cheese and limiting "bad" cholesterol foods for my health. I limit red meat and butter and I'm working on raising my good cholesterol by eating olive oil, nuts, lean meats
10. Forgiving my slip ups, so what if I had a few extra calories or carbs, I'm still doing low-carb. I had icecream the other day, yup, 17 carbs, so? :)

Pinpoint 10 patterns of living that you have accepted without question.

1. None. Okay maybe a few principles. (I continue questioning, but I've accepted the questions and will live into the answer)
2. I believe in fate and destiny and I don't argue with it...much.
3. I have alot of courage and I will always use it.
4. I look thin and that use to mean sick to me, but I'll get use to it.
5. I'm lazy and unmotivated, so what? I have other good qualities.
6. I'm what I am because I chose it, whether I'm aware of it or not.
7. I'm not cold, I'm lukewarm, I'm empathetic by nature.
8. Everyone has a right to their opinion and so do I.
9. I'm stronger than my depressive episodes, actually, they are so rare now, I don't even think I'm mildly depressed.
10. What am I doing, I don't accept anything without question, I question everything, that's also in my nature.

So.. what things do I need to do to get what I want?
( or continuing doing if I have started)

1. Believing in my destiny.
2. Keep counting.
3. Keep questioning.
4. Be patient.
5. Avoid or limit my weaknesses(overabundance, cheese, red meat)
6. question my overabundance issue and the need to wipe out all the food.
7. Walk more to clear my mind and gain some more energy to do things.
8. Accept my new body image, my new body and know I'm beautiful no matter what I weigh, because in reality I am, but sometimes I see so much more than my face, I see my experience, and that is what is so hard to accept sometimes and I take it out on my exterior appearance.
9. Stop underestimating my beauty and not be afraid to enhance it just because it's there.
10. Stop caring what people think of me, finally. That's a hard one.

WEEK 3: PEOPLE DO WHAT WORKS

You're at your current weight for a reason. Being overweight must be working for you at some level. You need to identify this payoff and understand it in order to let go of it -- then you'll be able to move forward. List your payoffs and reflect on what they mean.

I was overweight(200lbs) because I liked the company of food more than people, because I don't trust people, especially men and because my weight distanced myself from everyone. I felt strong, not like a puppet that maintains herself for someone else. My weight was my voice, and it said to everyone: I don't care what you think, I'm a goddess and I will eat what I please, aka, control what I eat, maybe that was the only thing I could control.

Miss Katz
I didn't realize how emotional these questions and answers could be, even reading other people's answers, I see aspects of myself I had forgotten. Thank you for asking and posting thee questions so that we are able to finally answer them.

WEEK 4: YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE.

Be brutally honest with yourself. Ask yourself these hard questions: Am I lazy? Am I simply not requiring enough of myself? Do I have no goals? Am I continually making promises to myself that I never, ever keep? Then write your own "hard questions" to describe the way you've been lying to yourself about losing weight. Get your excuses out there -- and never use them again.

No, I'm not lazy, but I say I am because others say I am, so I began to believe it and it happened, but now I decided not to see it as lazy, just not motivated to accomplish goals other people set for me. When it comes to my life, I'm not lazy. When it comes to a life others planned for me, I am lazy, on purpose, but by nature, I'm hardworking and I know it, even if I keep it hidden.

I don't require enough of myself because I don't know how much I can give. I decided a long time ago, not to ask myself for more than I am willing to give. Selfishness became my virtue, even if it looks like I'm being selfish with myself, I'm being selfless and empathizing with myself and the weak parts of my character. Maybe I get caught up in my drama and refuse to own up to it, but maybe I'm aware that there are different parts of my persona and I can't blame all those parts for one thats not that great. Maybe I can give alot more, but life has taught me that it drains me, and that I must pace myself.

I have goals. I use to think I didn't because I gave up on myself. Then I got bored and decided to make some so that life didn't make them for me. I'm motivated by boredom, I wasn't always motivated by it. Doesn't matter anyway, as long as I get where I'm going. It's like dominoes falling. One idea/goal sparks another and then another and eventually forces yourself to ask the hard questions in order to reach them.

I don't make promises, except when Im desperate I pray, and promise God a bunch of things. I hardly remember what I promise. Sometimes I see life as a joke. It's not, but there must be some intense fear of not accomplishing what I'm suppose to, so in my head it becomes a joke/excuse not to take it too seriously. I know who I am and I know promises aren't the same thing as action which is why I don't believe in them.

My own hard questions:

Why am I tired and unmotivated to go to the gym? Cable wasn't working at the gym so last time I went I got bored. My goals changed and I don't want to lose weight that quickly because the end of my weightloss journey means the end of something else, a piece of my history. It's hard to let go, of ideals and excuses, eventually I will have to, but I know I would have created a new ideal and a new history.
Fear of the future and making future decisions that might lead to mistakes, I'm trying to stretch time. But time catches up eventually.

Why did I wait this long to lose weight?
I was distracted by past occurence and past regret. Once I let it go, I made room for something new.
Once this goal is done I would have made room for another goal.This question wasn't that hard.

Why do I dwell on my physical imperfections?
Dwelling on them distracts me from the real problem. The real questions is, what caused my imperfections? My weight. What caused my weight? My eating. What caused my eating? My depression. What caused my depression? My anxiety. What caused my anxiety? My fear of falling in love, being out of control and failing. Because failure means rejection. And rejection means you aren't worthy of acceptance. I feel like I'm blabbering, reminds me of dominoes again. Why was I afraid of falling in love because I've been disillusion before and it broke my heart, made me the saddest girl ever.
Took my motivation to live and took my faith in something more.

WEEK 5: LIFE REWARDS ACTION

How many times have you said that you'd like to lose weight? How many times have you actually done something about it? The time is now! Throw away those excuses and take action. Set a goal. Be realistic. Nobody can lose 100 pounds in a month, but you can make a plan that works for you. Make a list of five of your failures, and ten of your achievements. How did your strategies work or not work? Describe how it felt and what you did to take action.

A gazillion. a few times.
1. gaining weight.
2. failing schools
3. maintaining weight
4. paying for schools
5. doing what others wanted me to do because I lacked direction
and let them mislead me when it wasn't there place.

1.I have way more than 10 achievements #1 being spiritually enlightened
2.Learnining courage
3.Learning self love
4.Forgiving people that hurt me and growing with them, watch them grow from my forgiveness
5.Losing weight, finally being where I am.
6.Finding my true nature.
7.Forgiving myself and watching myself grow from it
8.Being a good friend, even to strangers
9.Graduating despite being depressed and wanting to die.
10.Giving up my desire to stop existing and start living life that was given to me for a reason.

WEEK 8: WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US

If you've allowed somebody to make negative comments about your weight in the past, that person will continue to do so -- regardless of how much weight you lose. It's up to you to tell them that such behavior is unacceptable -- and you must never accept it from them again. You must communicate what you need and want. Focus on one person who has made you feel bad because of your weight. Use this opportunity to practice what you're going to say -- and go for it!

Already have, I hate them each time and forgive them each time because I love them and want to grow with them.

WEEK 9: THERE IS POWER IN FORGIVENESS

Forgiving those who have hurt us in our lives is first and foremost a gift to ourselves. If people have treated you poorly because of your weight, it's time to forgive them and free yourself. It does not mean you have accepted what they did or that you intend to make yourself vulnerable to that person again. What hurts can you never forget? What do you need to forgive yourself for?

All of them, but I can forgive them all, at least until it's repeated, then I have to forgive all over again because honestly it pisses me off and sucks energy out of me every time I have to defend myself.
But each time I realize how much I love my family and how much I love myself. I need to forgive myself for not forgiving myself in the past. I'm not a perefect human being, in fact, I don't think that exists, maybe being imperfect is a perfect human being. I need to forgive myself for insulting myself or parts of myself. I know I am whole, but sometimes I let myself get scattered in my head. I guess that's how people learn, by creating obstacles for themselves. Trying to control it should have never been the goal. Truly experiencing the obstacles and living in them, that was the purpose because you leave them a much stronger person. Strong for the next obstacle and the next until you become strong enough to stop creating obstacles for yourself. Then you'll be happy and satisfied.

YOU HAVE TO NAME IT BEFORE YOU CAN CLAIM IT (FINAL WEEK)

You've come a long way from the first week of Get Straight With Your Weight. How do you feel? Is losing weight helping you achieve what you want from life? The most you'll ever get is what you ask for. Be bold. Be realistic. Come back to these message boards for support, motivation, and to stay on track with your weight loss goals.

I feel different, but not sure if it's good or bad. I'm afraid of my future. I don't know if my weight is helping me achieve what I want. What I want is a whole other story.