Question number 4
 

WEEK 4: YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE.

Be brutally honest with yourself. Ask yourself these hard questions: Am I lazy? Am I simply not requiring enough of myself? Do I have no goals? Am I continually making promises to myself that I never, ever keep? Then write your own "hard questions" to describe the way you've been lying to yourself about losing weight. Get your excuses out there -- and never use them again.

EWWWWW do I HAVE TO? Do I have to be "brutally honest" with myself? Gosh Haven't I done enough of that lately? No. I haven't. Ok (Courage Sherry), I'm going to be brutally honest with myself.

1) Am I lazy? Yes. I am.

2) Am I simply not requiring enough of myself? No I'm simply not requiring enough of myself. Even with BFL and trying my best to do the excercises I have NOT been requiring enough of myself. Lately I've been slacking, not allowing enough time in the morning to get my workout done (every day) before work. I know if I don't do it in the morning, I won't do it later, so I MUST get off the computer and get it done.

I have NOT been requiring enough of myself with regard to diet. I know this. I didn't start right, I didn't continue right, I didn't finish right. BUT it isn't too late. Part of my problem has been with trying to do low carb and work out so intensely. I've still not found the proper balance between eating enough to have the energy to work out so intensely and eating low carb enough to lose weight. So instead of continuing to FIND that balance I just decided to give up on the diet part until BFL is completed. Except now. Now I WANT to do the last two weeks of BFL at induction level carbs, with maybe some TKD in there if I need it.

I haven't been MAKING the committment though. I've been saying it like it was a "wish" rather than a decision. I know the difference. When I am brutally honest with myself I KNOW the "tentative" feeling behind my statements.

I MUST develop a REAL desire to lose this fat. Without that solid DESIRE I will not go farther than I have. I am not REQUIRING myself to do what I need to be thin, because I am not REQUIRING myself to be thin. I've been fat so long, it has become part of my comfort zone. Breaking out of this comfort zone is going to require more than brutal honesty (although it is a first step).

It is going to require that I develop a burning desire to become more slender. That involves motivation. Lately feeling more sexy has helped me want to feel even "sexier" with a thinner body, but I don't think that by itself it is enough to create the burning desire I need to have.

Monday morning (at the latest) I am going to be back on induction with TKD for my workouts. Maybe I won't wait for Monday. Maybe I will do it today. My mind usually needs a day or two to get itself ready, so if I slip up today or tomorrow I'm not beating myself up, but Come MONDAY morning I will be on induction for at least two weeks with NO cheats. (the TKD part is not a cheat).

Come Monday morning I am going to do my excercises SOLIDLY for the next two weeks on schedule with NO excuses. Heck, I missed so many days last week that I will start TODAY to do my workouts on schedule. Today and tomorrow, I will do my Hiit aerobics that I've been missing so many sessions of.

Am I simply not requiring enough of myself? I haven't been. But I will now.

3) Do I have no goals? I do have goals, but not always the right kind. I have a goal to finish BFL. To keep on excercising for the next two weeks and finish the challenge. My other "goals" are a little more vague. I've had the goal of trying to reach 219 for several months now and I haven't reached it. Maybe because I haven't set time deadlines for reaching the goal. (well I have, but then reset them again and again). Somehow having a weight loss goal with a time limit is self defeating to me. I don't make it and even if I get close, it doesn't feel "good enough", discourages me rather than encouraging.

I need to set goals that are more PROCESS based rather than results based. I cannot control the results. My body will do what it will, and I can't allow that to discourage me because there can be things that I truly don't understand going on. I could be losing fat, gaining muscle, gaining weight because of that, and not SEE it. So I can't set weight loss goals. What I CAN do is to set process oriented goals. One of my process oriented goals is to go for three months straight induction (or perhaps TKD) without cheats.

TKD is going to be hard for my mind to accept. Herein I have a problem. Induction means "NO" sugar. TKD means some sugar during workouts, but not enough to interfere with ketosis, merely enough to help fuel intense workouts. It is going to be harder for me to do TKD and believe that I'm NOT cheating than it would to do induction without cheating. BUT I don't want to stop excercising either, because I know that is one thing that is really helping me. And I can't STAND wimpy excercise sessions. They make me feel weak and like I'm wasting my time.

The big problem I have had lately is to try and keep (or find) the balance between diet and excercise. Perhaps if I had just done the BFL diet as he laid it out I would have done better, but I just couldn't see myself eating that way again.

The important thing for me to do is to PICK one and be consistent with it.

So my new GOAL is to do TKD for the next 2 weeks. (gotta go buy some Smarties). Gotta learn more about it too.

My results oriented goal is to reach first 219, then 209 then 199. I refuse to set time limits on those however. I would LOVE to do it by the end of the year (any or all), but setting time limits defeats me too much. Makes me feel like a failure when THIS month my challenge is to remember to "REJOICE in how far I've already come".

My husband and my children are both telling me that I have changed a LOT since September when I started BFL. That my body looks better. My mother told me the same. I don't see it, except when I go to buy smaller clothes. Even then I wonder if I'm not buying things that are still too small for me.

Accepting that I AM making progress (especially because the scale doesn't show it) is difficult for me. Therefore I have to go easier on myself mentally than I want to. Things ARE happening, I know they are, but what I think is happening is muscle building, adding weight to my body while removing some of the fat.

My scale has gone up, not down. But my body is smaller. This is difficult. Hard to see progress that is so hard to measure.

Goals? Yes. I want to weigh under 200 pounds, be muscular, strong and healthy. I want to wear size 14 clothing (will reset THIS goal after I reach it), and become more attractive in the process.

4) Am I continuously making promises to myself that I never ever keep? I do make promises that I don't ALWAYS keep. Most of the promises I make that I seriously commit to I DO keep. Sometimes however I can "hear" the insincerity in my own promises, and I KNOW in advance that "try" means I won't do it. I TRY not to make promises to myself at all when I'm not ready to make them, because I believe that people must really WORK at keeping all promises they make.

ESPECIALLY ones they make to themselves. I want to make a promise to myself to stick to induction (or TKD) for 3 months straight. I've been thinking about it, trying to psych myself up to making that committment, but I haven't yet made that promise. Because once I do, I know I have to stick to it. I feel a little like I did when I committed to BFL. Like it is too scary to commit to. With BFL I solved that problem by setting a deadline for myself. I told myself (on August 31) that I would do a "trial run" of BFL for a month and that I would decide at the end of that month whether it was too hard for me or not, whether I could do it and commit (by October 7th) to the full 12 week challenge or not.

Perhaps I can do the same with the new goal I want to set. Maybe I can make the rest of November and December my "trial run" and plan to commit to a full 12 weeks of "TKD/Induction" by January 2nd.

November and December are bad months for me (because of Seasonal depression due to less sunlight), so I like to "go easy" on myself then. By January I'm usually feeling more up and ready to take ON more.

I think that will work. I will start TKD now, finish out my two weeks of BFL, and do the best I can (NO allowing feelings of failure if I can't do it perfectly during the next two months), and then COMMIT to 3 months starting January (assuming these next two months don't go too badly).

5)Then write your own "hard questions" to describe the way you've been lying to yourself about losing weight. Get your excuses out there -- and never use them again

This part is going to be hard. Hard questions?

The only lying to myself that I do (or wonder if I do) is about my results. I can't always accurately measure my progress. I can't always tell if I'm really losing weight or I'm "lying to myself" about it. Other people tell me I look better. Sometimes I feel better, but the scale doesn't always reflect it. Measurements don't always reflect it. Body fat calipers DO reflect it, but they also are inconsistent sometimes. Clothing reflects it. I do know that at times in the past I have gotten discouraged, assumed I was making NO progress (when I actually was) and sabotaged my efforts in the mistaken idea that it was useless anyway.

I am TRYING SO HARD not to do that anymore. I know what works. Diet and excercise works. I have a really hard time doing both well. I seem to be able to do only ONE at a time well, so I'm alwasy second guessing myself about whether it is WORKING or not. I'm always either being really hard on myself for skipping workouts, or for blowing the diet (or both).

So my excuses. "I can't do both diet and excercise well". "I need to focus on one at a time". "I can't eat at induction level and still work out hard". "I can't stick to induction, it is too hard". "I love to eat certain foods and sometimes I WANT that more than I want to be thin". "I'm afraid to be really thin, it is dangerous to be too attractive". "I look ok now, do I have to keep trying so hard?" "It doesn't matter if I'm a little fatter than I really want to be"

Now my positive affirmations to counter these excuses. "I CAN do diet and excercise well, it just takes the belief, and the right method of doing it. TKD for energy and induction for loss may just be the ticket" "I can focus on two things at once, I do it all the time, what makes diet different? Just because I think I can't doesn't make it true. Emotions are NOT facts. I can do anything I set my mind to do"
"Induction level is only hard if you THINK of it as hard. ONCE the committment is there, once the determination is there it is EASY. JUST DO IT"
This next one will be difficult to counter. DESIRE is still the biggest motivator. "I can forego favorite foods. I CAN. Food is just fuel, it really isn't that important. Plus you can eat steak and lovely salads and wonderful fresh veggys on induction, there are LOTS of great tasting food you can eat and still lose weight. DON'T be a Wimp, you want to look Gorgeous! And YOU CAN DO IT"
"I am NOT afraid. I'm too OLD to have to worry about the things I worried about when I was younger. Men in the city I live in now will find me beautiful and wonderful (as a thin person) and I don't have to worry about people coming onto me like I was "prey". I will be respected and valued at the proper weight, NOT the way it was, The differences between then and now are 1) I'm older, 2) I have more wisdom and experience, 3) I'm married, 4) I live in Santa Rosa, NOT LA, 5) Most of my bad experiences were with a different ethnic group (a more, in my opinion, sexually agressive group) than I deal with now. I don't have to be afraid of the people I live near. I no longer live in an area of high crime and high racial tension, I no longer will have to deal with men wanting to "solve" my "problem". I'm married and they know that I don't HAVE a problem. He he.

(that felt good writing those out).

"I am starting to look good, yes. BUT I want to look even better. I have to keep trying so hard because if I DON'T there is danger of backsliding. Also even if I don't backslide, I still want to be gorgeous. I want that BEFORE old age comes in and removes any possibility of my ever being gorgeous again. It is a very TIME restrained activity. I MUST do it now."

And my last excuse "It does matter if I'm too fat. I don't want to be fat. I want to look wonderful. And I refuse to accept anything less than gorgeous. Why should I settle for less than I want?"

Now as to "never using these excuses again". Well Ok. I won't. It won't be easy, but I won't. If anyone catches me using one, remind me.

questions
 

Am I Lazy?? No.. but incredibly side tracked.
I am always doing something.. just is that something in my best interest?
Ie: being online.. instead of doing housework, bills or taking a walk.
So.. the question for me is how do I get more focused on what is really important to me.
Am I not requiring enough of myself??
Now this one might really be a factor.. am I really working to a 8, 9 or 10.

Am I really eating as "cleanly" as I can?? Probably not..
Its the nuts that get me! :-)

Do I have goals??
Oh yeah.. I I want really tight great looking arms
I would like something other than tree stump legs.
I want to be a healthy old lady.. not a worry to her children.. because I am out of health and out of my mind.
I do want to feel like a girl.. sexy again..
That may be associated with other things than just my weight..but my weight does make a difference..
I might have more thoughts on this.. still thinking

Am I lazy? Absolutely, which is why I am compulsive about getting things done. I truly treasure my down time and I don't want it interrupted with stupid little tasks. I am a morning person and I know it, so I try to do as much as I can in the morning just so I won't have to deal with things later when my energy is depleted. This question bothers me b/c I think Dr. Phil is making the false assumption that fat people are lazy, which is not true. I know many thin people who are lazy, too, so I don't think laziness should be associated with being overweight.

Am I not requiring enough of myself? No, I'm not. I have physical reasons why I am limited regarding exercise. However, I could get on my treadmill for 5 minutes a couple times a day without triggering pain, but I don't. There is a part of me that thinks the enegy that I would use on the treadmill would be better spent doing something productive like housework. There is no reason why I can't sit in a chair and play with my hand weights several times a day, but I do it sort of hit and miss. I really need to start using them more.

Do I have goals? I do sort of have a goal weight in mind, but I try to focus on the next pound as a continuing goal. I try to avoid setting goals such as X amount of pounds by a certain date b/c I end up setting myself up for failure. I prefer goals of trying to get through each day without cheating and I have to do this one day at a time. I have noticed that folks who are consciously controlling their weight allow nothing to interfere with their WOE, whatever their WOE is. I am more the type that will avoid social dinners so I can stay on program, but I really need to learn how to have my social dinners but not allow them to interfere with my WOE.

One behavior that I thought of recently that I didn't identify earlier in this thread is my grocery shopping habit. There are only 2 people living in this household and one of them isn't even here half the time, yet I continue to buy groceries like I'm feeding an army. Whenever I come home from the grocery store, I have to move things around every which-a-way to make room for the groceries. I have a side-by-side refrigerator and an upright freezer in the garage and they are both full to capacity. My cupboards are full and so is my refrigerator. I have more food on hand than anybody I know yet I feel like I need to go to the grocery store. I do need eggs, but I know if I go to the grocery store, I won't come home with just eggs. This is an area that I really need to work on.
asugar :wave:

WEEK 4: YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE.

"Be brutally honest with yourself. Ask yourself these hard questions: Am I lazy? Am I simply not requiring enough of myself? Do I have no goals? Am I continually making promises to myself that I never, ever keep? Then write your own "hard questions" to describe the way you've been lying to yourself about losing weight. Get your excuses out there -- and never use them again."

I guess I don't like this question much either, maybe because it hits too close to home. So I will tackle this one more in the past tense, although vestiges of some of these problems remain.

I'm not sure if Dr Phil has preconceptions about fat people being lazy, but I do think he is right about our tendencies to make excuses.

Am I lazy?? Sure, you bet! Always have been, maybe always will be. I have the addict's personality- always looking for an easier, softer way; the way with the least work of course. That's not why I am fat. I am fat because I ate too damn much, for emotional and recreational purposes, for too damn long, and exercised too little.

Did I lie to myself? Oh boy howdy, YES! Big Time! I had the worst case of denial I have ever seen. I could get on the scale, look at the number, then "fog it out" somehow, not let it register, and go on doing what I waas doing, which was eating everything that wouldn't eat me back. That behavior, although extremely dysfunctional, was serving an emotional need at the time, and hence the denial. When the emotional need changed, because of improved personal circumstances, the denial went away. But the fat did not.

I look at a return of that denial as my biggest danger, in maintaining my losses. Life ALWAYS has problems- have I learned enough from this experience not to turn to food as an emotional crutch when things get bad??

Do I expect enough of myself? Do I have goals? Yes, maybe too many- lots of pressure, lots of work, poor priorities. Most of us complain that we spend "too much time on the computer" and not enough time on housework, but aren't we maybe being too hard on ourselves? The computer is fun, it is socially and intellectually rewarding. Housework represents the armpit of the universe, and is only necessary because of the social pressure from not doing it. I make hubby share the chores so I have more time to play. I don't even feel guilty about it. I've "come a long way, baby!"

The laziness kicks in and becomes a problem in regard to exercise. I love any little excuse that comes fluttering my way, anything that I can clutch at and use for a reason to postpone a workout. But I MAKE myself exercise, even if later in the day than I should, because I do like the results. I do everything I can think of to make workouts more pleasant. But unless Ben Affleck or Liam Neeson want to come work out with me, exercise may always be a struggle. I am hoping to eventually be able to run again- I do enjoy that.

Kat

Dr. Phil??
 

Who is Dr. Phil? Would someone mind posting his website address so I can go see?

Thanks so much!

Amy

Who is Dr Phil?
 

Hi Amy-
He is the "toughlove" psychology guru that appears on a lot of talk shows. While we don't like all of his ideas about the overweight, we are finding his questions useful..

Go see:

http://www.drphil.com/advice/advice...?section=Weight

We would be happy to have you join us here- jump in any time!

Hugs,
kat

Poor guy
 

Is only going on the current "set in stone" information that of course a calorie is always a calorie..and so there for.. fat people eat way to much and don't exercise enough.
The eat too much and not exercise enough is probably MOST americans.. so why isn't everyone three hundred pounds?? At least by their logic that is the way it should be.
My sister Tigersue never ate as much as I could tuck in!.. and yet for years...even at my highest.she was still higher..
But.. for general change with anything.. even weight..
The questions are still a darn good set to think about .. Just for an inner check of honesty ..
Poofie!

Am I lazy,
I don't think so but it does go in spurts. I am easily distracted, I love to read and once I start a book I have to finish it, I dont' know how to savor a story. So therefore nothing gets done.

Do I not require enough,
Probably not, at the same time, maybe too much.
I want to do what others do and the truth is, I can't, I can only do and be what I am. That is hard, because I want to be better than I am, so I don't accept myself as I am. I want to work out hard, I want to eat right, and I want to increase my spirituality.

Do I lie to myself,
You bet, I think i eat badly when I really am not doing to bad, then I get down about small slips. I tell myself all the time that I'm not attractive, that I'm not a good mother, and I don't deserve the blessings I have.

Generally speaking I don't have goals,
Oh there are some but I find that goals can lead to more negative thinking when not accomplished than the positive outweighs when accomplished.
I made a goal about 20 months ago to start working out, I have continued to do so, increasing my strength and number of days I can work out from around 4 to now consistently 5.
In July I started SP, that was a goal, to eat the best I can nearly all the time, I refuse to never say never to things, that is a big danger zone for me, but it is easier to say no, when I have things as options.
I don't make weight loss goals, or even inches lost, doesn't work for me I loss so slowly that my only goal can be to be better than I was a year ago, and at best 4 months ago.
I have goals to keep being involved in orchestra even though I fear that may have to end.
I have goals to keep working on family history.
There are many things to do. Those are just a few of them.
As for the other questing, I know it all comes down to FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of getting in trouble, fear of disappointment, fear of not making it, fear of frustration, fear of just plain giving up.
I'm not sure how to get over fear, something I'm thinking about because it has been a major factor in stress building up in my life.
So there it is again, fear of letting go of fear.
Tanya

Why do I want to loose weight???
 

I want to loose weight for all the wrong reasons...

I want to look good for my husband. I'm actually pretty happy being overweight... I love to eat, I have a huge wardrobe of comfortable large lady clothes... But my husband told me that I was, "too fat to f$*&." So... since he wants me thin, I'm going to be thin.

I must confess that I feel better on this WOE. I do enjoy his positive comments. So maybe I'll start getting more interested in this for myself... but for now I just want to be thin and pretty for my husband.

Karla

Week Five questions
 

WEEK 5: LIFE REWARDS ACTION

How many times have you said that you'd like to lose weight? How many times have you actually done something about it? The time is now! Throw away those excuses and take action. Set a goal. Be realistic. Nobody can lose 100 pounds in a month, but you can make a plan that works for you. Make a list of five of your failures, and ten of your achievements. How did your strategies work or not work? Describe how it felt and what you did to take action.

I can keep posting these if you want to come and answer them!
Poofie!

Hi
 

Please keep posting these questions, I'm answering them in my journal at home and they have really opened my eyes about issues I have. Thank you!!

Here is week 6!!!
 

And remember ..its never too late to play along!
WEEK 6: THERE IS NO REALITY, ONLY PERCEPTION


Some of the most destructive beliefs you hold are the ones that apply to yourself. A "limiting belief" is some negative self-perception that you've decided is true and accurate about you. For example: "I'm fat, so I cannot really change; I just am who I am." Search inside yourself to uncover more limiting beliefs. For every limiting belief you list, add an alternate belief to counter-argue your current point of view.

Poofie!

Okay. here is week &!
 

WEEK 7: LIFE IS MANAGED; IT IS NOT CURED


You may always battle with your weight. Understand it, believe it and accept it. Losing weight will NOT be a "success-only" journey -- you'll encounter challenges along the way. Be your own manager. Make a plan. Write out your weight loss goal -- specifically spell out how you will accomplish this goal. What will your diet consist of? How much will you exercise? Identify the payoff. After a week, assess how well your plan is working. Revise if need be.

Thank you!
 

Thanks for still submitting these questions. I'm still answering them at home in my journal. I should post them in my journal here on site just so you can see what I wrote.
Thanks again :thup:

Your welcome..
 

and your answers would be most interesting! :-)
I should go back and think about and post mine..
Poofie!