Thanks for the viewpoint Robert, sometimes I guess I just need a litte :bash:



:wave:

This is a great great thread! I am not sure about the whole sex thing either- Sometimes it's all about being confident and jumping right in there, and feeling good in many ways. And in another respect it seems to be about being as close as you can with the person that you love. I'm sure that it should always be a mixture of the two-

I would advise the person who is so concerned about they way that they look to not even think about it during the act- or it won't be nearly as much fun as it would be otherwise. Let go, relax, get into it- consider it a workout if you must! Have fun!!!!

Don't beat yourself up.

Slack

LOL itis listed at fitday under the physical activities - there a couple of levels of it to choose from - mild or more energetic :lol:

I've seen the 'cals burned' on fitday, too, and I swear I burn a lot more than that :o

Thanks, KoKo, for asking this question. I was thinking along similar lines and was seesawing on whether I had the nerve to ask an intimate question.


My husband (beanpole-6'5", MAYBE 200 lbs) adores my body, no matter what size. I was about 165 when we met, and my high was 218. He has NEVER, EVER said one negative thing about my weight, what I eat, anything. If he has anything to say about it at all (after much prodding by me) it's that the only thing he cares about is me being happy and healthy. On top of that, the man is ready to go 24/7.

I have noticed low sex drive, tho, since I gained about 25lbs in the past 3+ years and I know it's directly related to feeling that I was unattractive and disgusted with the way I looked without clothes. I try not to feel that way, but that's the way I felt. Now, I've lost 17lbs (and 17.75 inches) I feel much better! My husband asked me recently, in the 'midst', what had gotten into me. I said, 'it's what's gotten OFF of me ;) "...he didn't mind at all when I went to the gym this morning :p :p :p

Good luck with your outlook. I can definitely relate to your feelings.

Nicole

Although my relationship with DH has always been good - now that I have LOST weight I seem to have more self confidence and thus tend to initiate more ;) I also have no problem wearing those sexy little things he wants me to wear on occasion. BUT what I do find now that I have lost weight is that my libido has slightly lessened (slightly).

Considering I haven't had a date or sex in 5 years, I would say it has. Even though I am single, I just haven't felt comfortable persuing anything at 250 plus pounds. So, I would say for me the answer is a big YES!

lol what intimacy?

I avoid it all together. Besides, I'm too self conscience to even care or attempt it. :rolleyes:

Koko, I agree with what Robert said. I'd just add that when a guys in love with you, he wants all of you!

And I don't hink you need a little :bash: ,
I think you need a little :bhug:

Arnie

Robert and Arnie...
:rheart: :rheart: :rheart:

Both married, huh??? :rolleyes:


(Damn, it's hot in here... :blush: )

hahaha, too funny. Speaking for myself only of course, yup, living together for 7 years and she sometimes reads this board, so I better answer that real fast.

Unfortunately, the DW thinks like many of the women here have expressed, ie very self-consious. So how do I convince her that I don't care if she has a few extra pounds? It really doesn't matter to me.

Just keep loving her in the best way you can Arnie!

Karen

Me and my friend were just discussing this yesterday as a matter of fact.

I guess we can only speak for our men but our men loved us fatter and love us now. I am aware that they both think we look better now but being heavier wasn't really an issue for them. We don't get more sex, attention, love now...

The weight issue our guys had... was how our insecurities effected the bedroom. How we hid and got mad at ourselves and got embarrassed when they touched our worst body parts and we thought they were noticing something they weren't.... and we ruined a moment or feeling.

It was the misinterpretations caused by our insecurities they wanted gone.... the weightloss was and is really for us.

Hope that made sense.

That makes total sense, Lisa. My man feels the same way. He always says he wants me to be healthy and fit - not because of looks but because he knows how much happier and more confident I am when I was in better shape and not so fat. (Bless him, he's only had me like that for brief periods in our 15 years together).

My weight gain never affected HIS enjoyment or interest in sex, but it's exactly as you said, he sometimes got hurt or mad that I would let my own insecurities affect intimacy. He said it made him feel like I didn't trust him, or trust that he loved ME, in whatever shape I'm in. (He's a keeper ;))

As much as I'm doing this for me, I also feel it's a gift to him because he's finally going to get all of me and I'll be able to break down some of those barriers that get in the way for me. I joke with him that when his midelife crisis hits, he won't to go looking for a sexy young thing -- he'll have the new me!

We're gonna be sizzlin', right everyone?! :D

K.

Robert - How wonderfully said. Tell your wife she is one fortunate woman!

Cindy